A week after getting engaged, I asked Katie if there was any place she always imagined getting married. You know, that’s sort of what pop culture had assured me of — all little girls fantasize over their future wedding. Ever see that J.Lo movie Wedding Planner? The movie literally starts out with a flashback to J.Lo’s character as a child playing-acting her barbies getting hitched.
Oh, what? A guy can’t casually drop a Wedding Planner reference? It’s a classic. Fight me.
Anyway, that’s what I thought. A mass generalization, I get it. But still, I thought women loved this stuff.
When I asked Katie if there was some dream venue, she laughed.
“I never thought about it.”
“Like, not even once?” I was shocked. Shouldn’t she have a binder or Pinterest board somewhere about this?
“I imagined falling in love enough to get married. But nah, not the actual wedding.”
I was floored. Mostly because, to be honest, I did imagine the day. I thought about it when Katie and I moved from a lifelong friendship to romantic partnership. I thought about seeing her walking down the aisle. I thought about whether it would be in a barn or beach or if we’d just go to Vegas and spend whatever money we saved on the coolest honeymoon.
I thought about it all the time.
There’s actually something much more romantic about how Katie felt. Her focus was on the marriage, not just the spectacle surrounding it. But still! Our wedding day! I was chomping at the bit to start tasting cakes. And picking out table pieces. And finding the perfect place to make our love legally official.
It’s weird that we assign gender to these things.
I expected Katie to be super into the intricacies. And my excitement at designing wedding invitations? To some, that would be weird. Would be considered unmanly.
As you can guess, I headed up most of the planning. Katie and I agreed on all decisions, of course, but she just wasn’t as interested in the minutiae. Her interest was in becoming my wife, that’s it. And damn, is that not the best thing ever?! I’m incredibly, incredibly lucky.
And to any men feeling like they aren’t supposed to contribute, dude, if you’re into it, be into it!
Planning a wedding is stressful, makes you want to pull out your hair sometimes, but it’s fun.
Honestly, it’s really fun.