It’s Time To Love Myself By Unloving You

I don’t know what it is about you that attracts me so. You’re the only person I can’t wait to hear from each day. I could be in the shower and stop everything just to reply to you. I end up smiling for no reason when your name pops up on the notifications of my phone.

You make me feel so special and good, but you also make me feel like shit. I always pick up when you call. But you’ve never answered a single call from me. There’s always an excuse for everything. No plans ever come true. I’ve always been so delusional about what we could be, even when it was so obvious. You don’t feel the same way and you never will.

And that’s why I’m done. I’m done hoping that one day, you’ll feel the way I feel. I’m done trying to get a conversation out of you every single day. Yeah, we talked. But looking back at our old messages, it was always me keeping it alive and you being dry. I want to stop picturing a happily ever after with you. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m a disturbance with every single message I send.

No more wishing on 11:11 for a miracle to happen between us. I’m starting to see that this isn’t it. I’m not supposed to feel like I’m forcing things. It should’ve just come naturally. Shouldn’t love feel effortless? I’m saying goodbye to the sleepless nights wondering if you got home safe. I care about you so much to the point that it hurts.

It’s time to distance myself, maybe find someone that will give back the same love I give. What’s sad is that I’ll always care about you. This time, it’s gotta be in a different way and from afar. It’s time to love myself more by unloving you. I have to focus on myself and be a better me for me.