I never believed in romantic love. It seemed so stupid to me. How could anyone love another person the way romance novels and romantic movies portray? Why would someone write a song for another? Romantic love just brings out so many questions that never seem to have answers. It never made sense.
It wasn’t until I met her that my questions never needed answers. I stopped thinking and that’s when I started feeling. I was using my heart instead of my head. Love just started to make sense. I finally understood that love really does make people do some crazy stuff. I did. I did things I wouldn’t do normally. I felt like I would implode if I didn’t express what I felt for her. I would dance in a public place to the beat of my heart. I would sing along to every love song I hear playing. I would give her small gifts and do little surprises hoping it would make her day; making her day made mine. I did everything I thought would put a smile on her face; all the clichés you see in movies.
I spent more time thinking about her and her happiness over my own. I was in the honeymoon stage. I took every opportunity I could to be with her. I made time for her. I would skip classes just to spend time with her. In the small moments I was with her, I knew I felt true happiness.
She’s the exact opposite of me. I guess opposites do attract. She has goals and does what she needs to achieve them. She has her priorities in order. I just wasn’t one of them.
I wanted to be with her but I wasn’t supposed to. I’m not the guy that holds the key to her locked up heart. I was hurt. I thought about all of the what-ifs; the things that could’ve gone differently.
But soon, I realized I still loved her. I started thinking of the what is; I could love her and didn’t have to be with her. Love without reason. To this day, I still pray for her happiness every day even if I’m not part of it. I still hope that she achieves all the goals she sets. I hope she smiles and feels true happiness, the way she made me feel. I’ll be okay knowing that she’s more than okay.