When you get something published on Thought Catalog, they have a “reader mail” function on your profile where your email address stays private, but people can email you through an online form. Since I started writing here I’ve received a few nice emails (thank you!!) but one that made me pause. It was from someone calling himself John talking about how he had read my stuff at his work and how turned on it made him.
And that’s what’s so sexy about all the stuff, the idea that you turn a man on so much, he can’t control himself, he’s doing things he knows he shouldn’t be doing. You, as a woman, are an aphrodisiac that overpowers than his self control.
So, needless to say I was intrigued about this situation. I had just written some words, and here, it was causing this guy to act kind of irresponsibly. I decided to respond:
As soon as I sent my response off, I realized I really wanted him to write back. Who was this guy, and why was I so interested in what he’d say?
Now, that was hot, I was making a grown man feel like a teenager.
They say that the brain is the biggest sex organ and if I didn’t know that before, I definitely have learned it in the past few days.
John and I exchanged emails constantly, always building up, and never releasing. I was in a constant state of fantasy. I walked to the corner coffee shop one day to work and I couldn’t remember actually taking the walk. Once there, I’d check my email and smirk or giggle, too aware that the words on the screen and the thoughts in my head were not appropriate for my very public location. I told him this once, that I was in public and it was becoming uncomfortable. “Wet at a coffee shop? Sounds like you need me to take you into the bathroom for a quickie face fuck.”
When I learned he lived in the same city as me, all hope of resisting this weird and honestly, sleazy situation went out the window. If this was something that I could have, and it was so close to my reach, it was going to have to happen.
My friends kept asking what he looked like. How could I have such a sudden obsession with someone and not want a photo? But, that wasn’t the point. The attraction was bigger than what he looked like, it just didn’t matter. It was one of many intriguing powerful factors at play — my desire to probably not sleep with a random guy I just met over email, my general preference to sleep with men I found physically attractive — all these things were being overpowered by whatever heat was developing between us, by the fantasy of sleeping with someone who found me so intoxicating.
After three days we couldn’t stand it anymore and made plans to meet late at a bar a few blocks from my apartment. I made myself a stiff drink and hoped it would make up for whatever courage I was still lacking. I put my prettiest pink lace boy-cut panties and a completely sheer black bra on underneath a simple sundress. I didn’t want anything too complicated.
As I was getting ready, he sent me a message, “If tonight goes half as well as I think it will, my cock is going to be sore tomorrow.”
I groaned out loud to myself, I couldn’t even read his messages without feeling that tug between my legs.
Walking down the street towards the bar I felt more excited than I could remember being in recent memory. This was happening. He texted me where he was standing in the bar.
I saw him immediately, standing in the corner with a dark beer in his hand. He was tall and pretty good-looking. His shoulders were broad and his eyes were dark — almost black, just like mine. They were comforting. “Hi,” I said, suddenly feeling shy.
He reached up and cupped my face in one hand and kissed me, tongue and all. “Hi,” he responded. I remembered exactly why I was there.
If it were up to me I would have beat around the bush, tried to make small talk or avoid the subject at hand. He wasn’t like that. After a few minutes he stopped me and simply said, “are you ready?” “Yes,” I replied, staring up at him, feeling a bit light-headed with nerves. I turned around to head to the door when he grabbed my waist.
“No. We’re not leaving.” He gestured towards the bathroom.
My heart sank. There were two single occupancy bathrooms in the back. The doors had decent locks on them, but people would see us go in there. They’d know what was happening. “My apartment is just a few blocks away?”
“This will be more fun.” His confidence in his statement won me over. I had no idea what I was doing here, maybe he did.
I lead the way there, avoiding the eyes of other patrons who may notice us enter and exit together. My anxiety, however, was alleviated the second we shut and locked the door behind us. My back was suddenly against the wall and his mouth was on my neck, kissing me hard. One of his hands was wrapped around me, the other was depositing one of my legs around his waist so he was free to pull my panties aside and slide a finger inside me. I realized how uncontrollably wet I was as he moved his finger around in a solid, circular motion.
Uuugh. I was losing it.
He removed his hand and pulled me off of him, spinning me around so that my hands were on the sink and he was behind me. I could see him smirking in the mirror as he lifted my dress and unzipped his pants. He didn’t play around, he entered me immediately, grabbing my hips and pulling me back onto him.
I felt a bit like I was going to black out as I steadied myself on the sink. All this anticipation, his hands, now grabbing my breasts, the expression on his face as I watched him in the mirror… he looked very determined.
I bit my lower lip as he thrusted into me, I needed to be quiet. My body felt like it never had before, like stepping into a jacuzzi after a long day, everything felt… warm, and loose. I’d been waiting a long time for this and John didn’t disappoint.
“We can’t leave a mess,” he said and gestured for me to finish him off with my mouth. I happily obliged. It only took a minute of taking him in my mouth before he came into the back of my throat.
We spent a moment cleaning up and adjusting our clothing before he took my hand and lead me out of the bathroom. I caught a guy near the door exchanging a wink with John, but I didn’t care anymore. “let’s go to your place now,” he smiled. “We’ll need to hydrate before round two.”