1. “Do I hug, kiss, shake hands, or wave when I say hello? This is awkward.”
2. “Buen provech-1 Oh, okay. Everyone just started eating.”
3. “This small black thing is an avocado? Lol, nah.2”
4. “Why do people call me Spanish?3”
5. “Wait, the doctor calls me in at the exact time of my appointment? You mean I don’t have to wait all day? Win!”
6. “Salu-, I mean bless you.”
7. “Oh my God, a fireplace! A chimney!”
8. “Graci-, I mean thank you.”
9. “Why are my American friends arriving at 8:05pm when I invited them over for 8:00pm? Like, I need at least another hour to get ready.4”
10. “Okay but, where’s the mayoketchup?”
11. “Lol, wait people are complaining about drivers here?”
12. “Oh my God, a squirrel!” *snapchats*
13. “Why did I ever take the Puerto Rican sun for granted? Maldita sea, I’m freezing.”
14. “Lol, this is what people call coffee? You’re fucking with me, right?”
15. “What the fuck is daylight savings time?5”
16. “Why are people making fun of my Crocs? They’re fucking tight.6”
17. “Oh my God, how is everyone keeping their cool in 65 degree weather?7”
18. “How the fuck do I translate ay bendito8? There’s just no way! I’m gonna say it anyways.”
19. “Wait, why is work starting before Three Kings Day?9 You have no soul!”
20. “Why does a beer10 cost me $7?” *crying*
21. “You think abuela could pull off sending me some arroz con gandules by mail?”
22. “Oh my God, I didn’t even know all these Oreo flavors existed! Where have you been all my life?!”
1. Puerto Ricans say buen provecho before starting a meal; it’s basically like saying bon appetit.
2. Avocados are big and green in Puerto Rico.
3. Spanish people are from Spain. Latinxs are people from Latin America. Hispanics are people who speak Spanish.
4. Puerto Ricans tend to be fashionably late to absolutely everything.
5. We don’t do daylight savings.
6. Crocs are an actual thing in Puerto Rico. Granted they’re ugly, but they’re so comfortable and useful for the beach!
7. Puerto Rico has one season year round: Summer.
8. People could argue that ay bendito is like saying, “Oh, you poor thing!”. However, ay bendito is so much more than that. It could express sympathy, frustration, ridicule, or just about anything. It’s irreplaceable.
9. Three Kings Day is on January 6th; a day where children receive three presents in the morning (one from each king) and a holiday as sacred as Christmas Day, which means lots of family time and no working.
10. The national beer called Medalla can cost you as little as $1.