I think the word I would use to describe my first year at college would be “independent.” For the first time in my life, I learned to do things by myself and for myself, I learned to put my goals and my future first and focus on the things that make me happy. I finally stopped giving a shit about what other people thought of me, or what they wanted. It was a liberating experience to say the least, and I have certainly taken so much away from it.
Spending so much time by myself has really made me realize that I am the kind of person to hold everything to a high standard. I expect a lot out of myself, in regards to academics and my future. I expect a lot out of my friendships, I expect that my “best friends” will certainly play their role in a successful and meaningful friendship. I also know that when it comes to relationships, I am just not one to settle. I’ll patiently wait my turn if it means finding something that’s actually worth waiting for. I expect a lot out of myself and the people I surround myself with, but I’ve never really viewed that as a bad thing. Sure, life is short. Some people will say it’s too short to wait and wait for perfect things, because “nothing is perfect”. While this is technically true, I believe that there are things that are perfect for me, and I intend on waiting until I find them.
Having high standards is certainly a blessing and a curse. I’ve found that building new friendships or finding that good relationship was a little more difficult that I planned. I can’t say that I have lists and lists of contacts in my phone that I could call for plans on Friday night, but I would much rather have a small group of friends who have really proved that they are friends worth having. You only have so many Friday nights during your freshman year, why would I want to spend them with catty girls who have such misguided perceptions of life? In all honesty, I think I would rather sit in my bed and watch 30 Rock than spend my nights with people I don’t really have any respect for. I guess in the eyes of some of my peers, that makes me introverted but I disagree. I’m not an introvert. I like to socialize; I like to be around people. But I like to spend my time with the people who are going to make me better, the people that I can hold a conversation with, the people that respect me as a person and hold genuinely good intentions for my well being. Life is certainly too short to waste time on the people who don’t appreciate you.
I know that when people ask the most popular question about the first year at college, “So….how many guys have you hooked up with?” and I give my answer of zero, I am quickly judged and labeled. Girls drop their jaws and guys look at me like I have 3 heads, like there’s something wrong with me. I just have much better things to do with my time than to spend it with a guy who thinks grabbing my ass is a gesture of endearment.
It’s okay to have high standards for yourself and for other people. It’s certainly normal to want good things for yourself, and while those things might not always be easy to find, they are definitely out there. If you’re confident and patient enough to wait for good things, then I give you all my support. It’s not easy to hold yourself to a high standard of integrity; it’s certainly easy to give in to things beneath you.
I want good things for myself and I want a bright future. That does not make me an introvert. It doesn’t make me antisocial, or stuck up. The way I see it, it just makes me independent.