I’m Tired Of You Constantly Disappointing Me

woman wearing white top near metal case
Larm Rmah / Unsplash

You want me to feel sorry for you. You want me to reassure you and tell you everything will be okay. But I can’t do that. You do this to yourself. With you it’s always the same old story. You don’t try to change. You just blame all of your shortcomings on other people.

I get that we’re family. And I’ve tried to advise you to the best of my ability, but I really think you love to be miserable.

You say that I’m selfish and that I only care about myself but that’s not true. I care about you so much. But I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. You just want us all to listen to your misery but won’t take the steps to change.

I get that it isn’t easy. I get that. But every time we’re together you always make it about you and how your life isn’t going at all like you want it.

The problem, though, is that you always focus your energy and your happiness on him. And there have been so many different him’s. You think you have to be with someone to make you happy. And you are. For a time. But then you do all the same things you did before.

You become possessive and obsessive. You think he is the sole reason for your existence and then you ruin it because you don’t know to to just be.

You’re my sister and I love you but I’m so tired. I’m so tired of having to come in and pick up the pieces. I’m so tired of trying to guide you to make the best decisions for yourself when you’re just going to ignore me and do whatever you please. I’m so tired of this cycle with countless numbers of guys that are the “devil incarnate”.

Sweetie, it’s not them. It’s you. You don’t know how to be your own person. You say I’m selfish because I put myself first, but that’s the only way I know to survive.

It’s my 24th birthday the other day. You know that, right? We made plans to go out and have fun. But then you let him affect your mood. Your emotions and your obsession with this guy who has been in your life less than a year is the reason you decided to bail on me. Your baby sister.

I’m just so sick and tired of it. I love you. But I don’t really like you anymore. There’s only so many times I’m going to let you disappoint me. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer. Thinker. Lover. Friend.

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