Even After All This Time, I Still Wonder About You

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Annie Spratt / Unsplash

I had always wondered. Wondered if we were meant to be. But I didn’t get the chance to find out because you left. I cared so much about you but I was just easily forgotten. A memory not worth recalling.

Years passed and I still wondered about you. About how you were doing. I wondered if you ever thought about me. If there was a song that came on the radio and made your thoughts automatically drift to me. I wondered if you ever missed me. If you ever compared your date to me. Because I did to you. Even if I shouldn’t have.

I always wondered if I would get the chance to ask you these questions. And then you appeared. As if from the depths of my memory, you were before me. I finally had the chance to ask. But you beat me to it.

You apologized for disappearing. For not giving an explanation. You said no one should have to go through that. You said you hated yourself all those years. You hated your fear of commitment and your habit of sabotaging perfectly good relationships.

I was over the moon. I finally got my explanation. I understood your reasoning, you were young. We were young. I was able to easily forgive you, believing that these years had changed you.

But I’m glad to know that they hadn’t. Because you disappeared quicker than a flash once again. But at least now I know it wasn’t anything that I had done. You’re just scared. You don’t know what it is to love another human being. I don’t hate you. I don’t resent you. I’d actually like to thank you. Thank you for putting to rest my constant wondering. I can finally forget about you and move on. Thank you. TC mark

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