A Week Was All We Shared, So Why Does It Hurt So Much?

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Brooke Winters / Unsplash

I knew you for just a week. But it was the best week of my life so far. We first met for lunch and we were both so nervous. It was awkward but you were cute. And you kept telling me how pretty I was. I wasn’t used to that. To compliments. We only talked for a little while before you had to go back to work but we texted nonstop for the rest of the day. You told me I gave you butterflies. I’ve never been told that by anyone.

We made plans to meet again. On Saturday. It was supposed to rain that day. But it didn’t. The sun shined so brightly, I thought it was a sign. I drove to your house and you met me in the driveway. You hugged me tightly and invited me inside. You introduced me to your dog. She was the sweetest. I still remember how she would come up and nudge my hand for attention.

We decided to go swimming. The lake was cold but the sun was warm. Your blues eyes sparkled when you smiled at me. We talked about the little things. You asked my birthday and I asked your middle name. We wandered out too far and my toes could barely touch the bottom. You laughed when I accidentally swallowed a mouthful of water. We swam and laughed and talked until we were pruny.

You asked me if I was hungry. But neither of us was. You asked me if I wanted to go for a ride on the back of your motorbike. It was a first for me. The first time being on a motorbike. The first time being so close to you. You helped me fasten my helmet and told me to hold on tight. I loved the feeling of the warm air on my face as we whizzed past the trees. I felt happy.

We were finally ready for lunch by the time we got back. You took me to a restaurant neither of us had been to before. You told me about your family. I told you about mine. We had a couple of awkward silences but I was still so nervous. I’d never felt this way about anyone so soon.

After lunch, you decided we should keep on our streak of adventure and go kayaking. Another first for me. You helped me with my life jacket and laughed when I held the paddle upside-down. I remember the way you distracted me so you could sneak a kiss to my cheek and how you quickly paddled away and turned back to stick out your tongue at me. My heart fluttered.

After our arms were sufficiently tired and I could barely paddle; after my shoulders turned red from the sun, we decided to go back and rest.

We decided to watch a movie. You let me pick. A girly movie, of course. You put your arm around me and I cuddled to your chest. About halfway through, we finally shared our first kiss. It was the best kiss.

You told me how much you liked me and that you’d never felt so comfortable with another person. You said it felt as if we’d known each other forever.

The day had to end at some point, but you invited me back the next day. We spent the morning with your grandparents. For your weekly Sunday outing. They were the sweetest people. They asked me about myself like they actually cared. We walked hand-in-hand and you told me you wanted to meet my family. It was so quick but I invited you to dinner anyway, so sure that this was real.

My family seemed to really take to you. The first boy I’d brought home in four years. You laughed at their lame jokes and on the way back to your house, you said you still wanted me. You wanted me to be your girlfriend. So quick it was, but I accepted anyway. I was so sure it was real.

That night I stayed with you. We made love over and over. You kept telling me how pretty I was and how much you liked me. We went to sleep cradled in each other’s arms.

We woke up the same and had breakfast. Then we took your dog for a walk. The rain had finally come. It drizzled most of the day. So we stayed in and watched movies. We played pool and you showed me your favorite video game. It was the best day. The best way to end a long weekend. And it had to end. We both had work the next day and had to come out of our little bubble.

You asked me to meet you during lunch. Our fourth day in a row of seeing each other. We talked and everything seemed fine. I kissed you goodbye when you had to go back to work.

But the next day, you seemed to distance yourself from me. I could feel you pulling away and I didn’t know what was causing it. I had a feeling of dread. A feeling I knew all too well, but I chalked it up to you being stressed with work and school.

Until the next day when I woke up and didn’t have the ‘good morning’ text I had grown used to. I knew it then. That it wasn’t going to be much longer until things were over. But I pretended as if nothing was wrong. When I asked if you wanted to do something for the weekend, I ignored the way you ignored it with an irrelevant question. I kept pretending for as long as I could. And then it happened.

Over text, you told me it wasn’t going to work. Even though I knew it was coming, it still shocked me. I thought our time had been so great together. The shortest relationship I’d ever had seemed to be the most painful to end. Your excuse was that we just didn’t have anything in common. And I could come up with so many things we did have in common. But I accepted that excuse because I didn’t want to hear the truth.

I still don’t want to hear the truth. And I tell myself that I’m fine and that I didn’t even care for you that much. I tell myself you’re just a jerk and that you don’t deserve me.

Even as I’m thinking about you now. I tell myself that it’s for the best and that I’ll be over it soon. We knew each other for only a week, but why does it hurt so much? TC mark

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