Today’s educational curriculum was meant to prepare us in dealing with the real world but as with everyone who’s stepped into the big bad world, we find that there are aspects that formal education simply cannot teach us. More specifically, notions that deal with society in general. I can guarantee that a lot of newly grads had their fair share of WTF moments when they attempted to connect their logic with the one of modern society’s. This article shares ten significant thoughts to ponder on whenever you feel like you’re losing yourself in our society’s confusing ideals.
1. Success is subjective.
Success does not always equate to attaining social status or earning 7 digit values on a monthly basis. It comes from within you. The measure of one’s success exists only if you deeply define what you truly want in life. It’s through love, heartbreak, celebration, isolation and other life experiences that builds this. You have to let life take you on a journey to discover your potential. It’s quite foolish to let theirs define what your success story is because your story would always be different from that of you friends, parents and colleagues. We are individuals not clever chrome copies of someone else.
2. Love is subjective.
Similarly, an act of love has different definitions per individual. We have different upbringings and experiences in life which leads to our definition of the L word. So, what may seem like an act of love for one may seem cringeworthy for another. Hence, hopelessly chasing after someone who doesn’t have a definition of love that coincides with ours is a complete waste of time because love is more or less all about compromise. We compromise the things we value for the sake of meeting half way with another individual.
3. Being able to stand up by yourself is as important as belonging in a group.
This is actually a concept I’m currently trying to fully absorb. As a person who needs his alone time to function well, I’ve spent a lot of my times alone in my thoughts and my writings and admittedly it gets a bit lonesome. Whether, we want to admit it or not, a conversation with a person is a necessity but that doesn’t mean that you just completely drop your principles in order to fit in to a group. Rather, it’s important to find that group which lets you completely be yourself, well at least 80 to 90% of your true selves anyway. Balance is essential in this one. You also do need an amount of time to be alone in order to absorb the happenings of our life as well as to reevaluate your life and who you are becoming.
4. Everybody is selfish to an extent.
I say this not with the intention of criticizing others for prioritizing themselves. In fact, everyone in some way puts their needs above that of others. It’s not really a bad thing because we do have a personal duty of developing the strongest version of ourselves.
5. It’s not about what you say but more on how you say it.
Sometimes in order to sway another person to take our side, we need to edit our words such that it would seem that our proposal would greatly benefit them. I am not necessarily stating that we need to fill other people’s sense of self entitlement in order to achieve a certain goal. The idea is that some people need more convincing and sugarcoating in order for them to join your cause. It’s just the way some people function. Fun fact: In the Philippines, these people are called “pabebe”.
6. You can only be completely yourself to a selective amount of people.
The world is full of varying amounts of people with different beliefs, goals and personalities that it’s quite impossible to get along with everyone. Hence, in order to coexist with some people, masks are necessary means. When I say mask, I don’t mean pandering to the other person’s supposed personality but rather limiting yourself for people who are unable to handle your full extent. It’s putting on a different version of ourselves when dealing with certain people.
7. Change is inevitable.
One aspect in life that’s never constant is change. Change happens everyday within us through our daily experiences. One day, you’ll find yourself completely head over heels over a phenomena be it an outfit, a job or even a significant other believing that it completely defines you and then after some days you see the flaws and find means to improve said phenomena or if that’s not all possible, you give up. This is why reinventing one’s self every now and then is crucial because as the old cliché goes, life is a river and we do need to find means to flow with it and avoid stagnation which can prove fatal to our lives.
8. Dreams are built outside the office.
If you’ve somehow landed your dream job or even if you already know what your dream work is, then I salute you my friend. You are one of the lucky ones. Otherwise, after you graduated, you’d most likely be looking for an 8 to 5 job to pay the bills and grab that oh so valuable work experience. One thing you need to accept is that you are getting paid for that 8 to 5 job by that big conglomerate to help them build their dreams. It’s actually outside that 8 to 5 timeline that’s really crucial. It’s where you need to explore and think on what you want to really do in life as well as how you’d achieve them.
9. Trial and error is essential.
If you’ve never failed in anything then you’re really not learning at all. It’s essential to make mistakes in life in order for you to see the path that’s truly meant for you. Mistakes are the pathway for us to discover ourselves which is why we need to have the guts to fail and stand up afterwards.
10. Standing up for yourself and knowing you’re worth is important.
It’s quite a battle to know when to stand up for yourself or humbly let the world dictate events. It may take a while but through observation and some meditation, you will eventually get the flow of things. I can guarantee that you are going to feel small once you step into the real world and that’s absolutely fine. Even though, you’ve yet to achieve your greatness, always remember that you have the potential to be an absolute success regardless of your experiences now so if ever you feel like a challenge is too much, remember that failure leads to experience which in turn builds strength for success. Similarly if you feel like something is not worth suffering over, do not hesitate to walk away because simply put, you are your biggest commodity and your most significant asset.