Dating Isn’t A Numbers Game, It’s A Skill You Develop

Joao Silas
Joao Silas

Dating as many people as possible is a common misconception, but dating isn’t a numbers game.

Just the thought of having to date constantly to find the right woman for you could be exactly what’s keeping you from dating. Introverts prefer quality to quantity, even when it comes to finding love.

As it turns out, introverts have always had the right mentality. Forget the numbers. Dating is a skill, not about how many people you date along the way towards finding a lasting relationship.

Ask Happy Couples

How many friends do you have that are constantly in and out of relationships? Sure, they date often, but somehow nothing seems to last. Now, look at some truly happy couples that have been together for a while. Most of them will gladly tell you that dating is about finding that person you connect with. It’s not about approaching every single person you see.

For them, each of them may have only went on a few dates each month. They limited their search and ended up finding happiness. No, you won’t have a date every single night, but the quality of your dates will be much better.

Numbers Make You Cold

We’ve been conditioned to think you have to date and date often in order to be happy. Thanks to all the dating options available, it’s hard for anyone to narrow down their choices.

You get caught up in the trivial aspects, such as how many numbers you got in a single night or only approaching blondes or brunettes for the night. Dating isn’t a numbers game. If you think about dating as numbers only, it sounds kind of cold and that’s because it is.

How does approaching every single woman in a crowded room sound to you? Instead of focusing on making a connection, you’re focused on just making a quick introduction and moving on to the next target. See? Now, you’re thinking in terms of the next one versus the one you’re talking to right now. Don’t let dating for the sake of dating turn you cold. You deserve better.

Making Real Conversations

Making conversations with strangers, especially attractive women, might make you second guess yourself, but guess what – it happens to anyone who’s truly looking for a real relationship. When you’re so busy trying to date constantly, you’re missing out on a vital part of getting to know someone – real conversations. It’s one of the single most important dating skills.

Forget about numbers and focus on just the few women you’re most attracted to when you walk into a room. Approach each and try to have an actual conversation with them. You’ll get to know them and they’ll get to know you. You’re more likely to get a relationship versus a rejection when you spend the time to talk.

Everyone Isn’t Your Type

The biggest problem with the number approach is everyone isn’t your type. You get so exhausted and worn down trying to open your search to everyone that you give up on dating completely. That’s not exactly helpful, now is it? It’s okay to have a type. Before you even consider approaching a woman, take the time to go out and discover what traits are most attractive to you personally. It doesn’t matter what your friends think.

Limit your approaches to just women who meet your own criteria. Just remember, be realistic here. If you’re only looking for blonde Victoria’s Secret models, you’re going to have a hard time finding what you’re looking for. Think about not only looks, but personality too. These are the women who you’ll actually enjoy being with not just today, but long term.

Approaching The Right Ones

Try approaching women haphazardly and you know what happens – enough rejections to deflate the biggest ego. Dating isn’t a numbers game and that’s why you have to pay attention to not only what you want, but what the women around you want. Remember when I said dating was a skill? Outside of conversation, body language is the other most important dating skill.

Look for signs, such as a quick smile or sideways glances, that signal a woman is interested in being approached by you. You’ll limit your search and have a bigger chance of getting the coveted number and first date.

Remember What’s Important To You

Now that you know that dating isn’t a numbers game, it’s time to think about what’s important to you. Are you just looking for something to do on Saturday night or the chance at love? If it’s the latter, focus on fine tuning your dating skills and go after what’s important to you – a real relationship. TC mark

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