I understand the hype over the World Series, a national championship, or NBA Finals, but a Monday night NFL preseason game? A spring training game? Seriously? I am all for a sporting event now and then, but I think us women can all agree dating a sports fanatic can be a handful. Yet somehow, you love him all the same.
1. Why must you shout?
I get it; a touchdown is great. A three pointer in the final seconds of a close game is thrilling. But really: what is the point of letting the neighborhood five miles down the road hear the echoes of your passion? If it annoys someone who loves you, surely it will annoy the neighbors too.
2. Why must you, uh, cry?
It was perfectly acceptable when Tim Tebow cried. He was the one losing the National Championship. But am I dating Tim Tebow? (Lord, please let this be true.) Except no, I’m not. I was blessed with you – you who cries when your alma mater loses their rivalry game.
3. How do you NOT fall asleep watching golf?
I grew up five minutes down the road from PGA National and I STILL don’t understand the entertainment of golf. You have to be quiet and nothing exciting happens. I mean, the last time something worth paying attention to happened in golf, Arnold Palmer invented his infamous drink of sweet tea and lemonade. (Does that count as golf history?) I’m sure it’s fun to play, but watch? Go ahead; I’ll just nap while you binge on a bunch of old guys hitting a little white ball across a field.
4. Honestly, what is the point of the NFL Combine?
If the Super Bowl is on or Tom Brady is playing, we can watch. But these college guys? They’re just running 40 yards and jumping! Who finds entertainment in that? Ugh, and you make fun of me for watching Real Housewives of Atlanta.
5. I hope this game is almost over.
*Sigh* Finally, nearing the end of the second period. Finally, I can get out of this cold, smelly, hockey arena. Excuse me, WHAT? There are three periods!? I’m seriously about to go wait in the car. Boy do you owe me! And something good too.
6. So, when are the Olympics on?
I actually enjoy the Olympics. Everyone gets into it and it gives me an excuse to wear cute USA stuff. Plus, who doesn’t love watching USA swimming? (By which I mean Ryan Lochte. Who doesn’t love watching Ryan Lochte?)
7. That’s it. Time to watch Grey’s Anatomy.
Shhhh. I do not care that the Cavs are playing. There will never be a point in life where Lebron is more important than McDreamy. Now, please hand me the remote or suffer the consequences.