I’ve always thought that things always come easy, that people are always nice, that money is less important, and that I can always have what I want. I was sheltered growing up, I never thought about the food I eat because there’s always something on the table, and I never experience part time jobs because there’s always money in my pocket. I never thought about clothes and shoes because I always have an extra pair. Growing up I never really cared where the money came from.
I can always have what I want; I can always buy the things I need. I’ve never thought about why I’m always with my grandmother and that I can barely remember a memory with my parents. I got used to eating breakfast or dinner without them. I have my brother and sister but we were never complete in the table. I never once thought why I have no one every family day at school or why my parents are the only one that’s not in any Parent-Teacher Association meeting.
I was never close with any of them, I learned to lie the very least because I know they will never find out. I would lie where I was because I thought they don’t care. I was never open about any of my feelings; I guess that’s the main reason why I have a lot of friends because I have no one at home. I never experience telling my mother the first crush I had, or the first boy who asked me out. I never shared about my entire first with her maybe because growing up I never really have her or she never had the time to listen to all my stories.
Now that I’m all grown up I finally found the answers to all the questions I had. I learned a lot of things about my life, about people, about my parents in particular. I realized what my parents had to sacrifice for me to have a normal life. I realized that in order to have what I want I have to work for it and that nothing is easy in this world. I have to earn every penny. I have to earn everything even trust.
That Life is not as easy as I thought it was. People aren’t always nice, that there are people that will bring you down. I realized that the people that praise you are the same ones that hate you. That not all your friends are true, they can always betray you when you least expect it. But most of all I realized what my parents means to me. I finally understand why I had to grow up without them, why they weren’t around while I was growing up. It doesn’t mean they love me any less; they do so much to sacrifice being with me so I can have the life they want me to have. So I won’t experience the life they had growing up. I realized that everything they did, they did it because of me.
I did not grow up close with my mom but she will always be the person I want to see every morning. She will always be that one person who knew me behind my smile. She knows me better than I know myself. Family are the only people who will stick with you no matter what. They are the ones who will not judge you for being yourself. Sometimes parents may appear that they don’t care but they do. We might see them as superhuman but they aren’t and they get hurt. Parents put on a brave face but behind it they carry the world in their shoulders for us. There are things they are willing to give up just so we can have ours.
As I grow up I realized that there are things we can’t take back those are the words that have been said, the moments that have passed and the time that’s been gone. There are always words we wish to unsaid but just because we can’t take it back, it doesn’t mean we can’t make amends. There are always missed moments but it doesn’t mean we can’t create new ones. Just because we had crappy relationships doesn’t mean we can’t start a new one.
Family will give you as many chances as you need until you finally learn. We will be parents ourselves one day and when the time comes we will do what our parents have done for us. We will give our children the same amount of love and care; we will finally be able to repay our depths to our parents just by doing the same sacrifice they did. When that time comes we will be enough as well to our children. There will be rough times to balance work and family but know that our parents will always be there to make everything better, to lend a hand when we can’t find the answers we want or the time we need.