Sometimes Your Twin Flame Is Actually A Piece Of Shit

For those who believe in it, our twin flame is unlike any other person in this world. The connection is immediate and intense. Something about them wakes up something in you. It goes beyond finding a lover or being in love: you feel like you have found a portion of your own soul — and that’s because they are, technically, from the same soul as yours.

But the twin flame story is not the feel-good, Disney-princess, find-your-soulmate story that we grew up with as a child. For a lot of us, our twin flames are not the people we spend the rest of our lives with. Their job is to put us on the path we were meant to be on, to awaken the dormant parts in us, to stir up something vital within our souls.

And sometimes they do it by being a complete piece of shit.

Like I said before: the idea of a twin flame isn’t your feel-good, soulmate fairytale. Your twin flame isn’t guaranteed to be your white knight, or your majestic queen. Sometimes your twin flame is a raging douchecanoe.

Not always, of course. A lot of people’s twin flames are nice, normal people. But sometimes your twin flame is a lying, manipulative sociopath. Sometimes your twin flame is a gaslighting narcissist. Sometimes your twin flame is just a regular-grade fuckboy (or girl).

Sometimes that twin flame is the exact opposite of that warm and fuzzy idea of soulmates.

But their job isn’t to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Their job isn’t to hold you in their arms and vow ’til death do us part and buy you roses every Valentine’s Day.

Their job is to light the fire that should’ve been there all along.

Our twin flames are our mirrors, and sometimes that mirror is used to reflect the parts of us that need changing. Sometimes that mirror reflects what we could become if we don’t work on ourselves. Sometimes that mirror reflects what we’ve been willing to put up with in terms of abusive or neglectful behavior. Sometimes that mirror shows us the demons we’ve been running from that have been secretly calling the shots all along.

Their job is to essentially introduce ourselves to ourselves. And sometimes that means introducing ourselves to the passive parts, the low self-esteem parts, the parts that have never properly fought for boundaries and self-respect. And that can come in the form of our twin flame abusing our boundaries and being disrespectful.

(You know, by being a complete piece of shit human being.)

They are the catalyst for radical transformation, and sometimes that comes in the form of creating the fire that burns everything down (but our phoenix rises up from).

And — also unlike the soulmate — a twin flame is not necessarily meant to be in your life forever. In fact — and especially if our twin flame’s douchbaggery is unparalleled — it’s probably better that way. Whether circumstance takes them away, or we personally cut them out of our lives, sometimes the biggest and most important lesson comes when we part ways from their toxic asses.

As much as it can hurt, meeting your twin flame (even a shitty twin flame) is a necessary endeavor. You walk away a different person — a stronger, more self-aware, more self-actualized person. Your soul is just a little more whole, even if it felt like they had crushed your spirit. You’ve learned how to stand up or express yourself or fight like hell. You’ve learned compassion or you’ve learned to build boundaries. You’ve learned vital lessons about yourself that you wouldn’t have learned any other way. You’ve realized things you wouldn’t have been able to recognize without your twin flame. They played an incredibly important part in your life. They were a necessary catalyst, a predestined connection.

But it’s also okay to think they’re a piece of shit, as well.

TCID: abby-rosmarin