The Single Woman’s Manual

Unsplash Brooke Cagle
Unsplash Brooke Cagle

Raise your hand if you want a boyfriend. Raise your hand if you need a boyfriend.

These are similar questions, yes? WRONG. If you raised your hand to the first question you are not ready for a relationship. If you raised your hand to the second, you are definitely not ready to settle down.
Okay that was harsh, but hey this is coming from your friend that will snap you back into reality. The internet, movies, and TV shows glamorize relationships, making young girls feel the need to grab on to the first guy that tells them they are beautiful and settle with it. Being in a rocky relationship seems to be more fashionable then being single these days, especially for the younger crowds. We hop on tinder hoping to swipe right on our Prince Charming. We take shots at parties so we have the guts to impress the hottie in the main fraternity. But I have a question ladies:

Why are we not this eager to be single?

Don’t get me wrong I want to meet the man of my dreams, pop out a couple kids, live happily ever after and all that jazz. But we have so much life to live before that. Those of you who have been in the same relationship since you were 14, I applaud you for your bravery. I totally am behind the whole “Getting married young isn’t bad, we just get to experience the world with the person we love most.” It is very Notebook-esque of you. Some people are lucky enough to live this way, and be happy. The others, not so lucky. For some, the man they thought would be their forever decided they wanted to have nonmonitored fun in their 20’s, and leave you to the wolves. Girlfriend, don’t cry, the douchebag just saved you.

You must love yourself, before you can love anyone else.

If you can be happy, and joyful in the single life, without desperately trying to pursue a relationship with every guy that buys you a drink, you are going to have more confident and secure relationships. If you are recently single, or wondering why you don’t have a boyfriend, don’t fret. I am here to tell you the reasons why being single doesn’t have to be the saddest years of your life.

1. You come first

All you recently single folk, I have great news. That hot guy at bar? You finally get to go make a move without worrying about getting in trouble. Your favorite pink short skirt, he didn’t want you to wear because other guys would look at you? It is time for that skirt to shine. You get to live for you, and do what makes you happy. That five part documentary about the psycho beauty queen killer? You get to watch the WHOLE THING.

2. No more pretending

Whether it comes to his interests that went over your head, his stoner friends that were always asking for rides, or the big O. You no longer have to fake it. No longer faking that it didn’t bother you, no longer faking that it “lasted for two minutes.” You get to find the real you, and what makes you tick.

3. Fall in love with yourself

You finally get to take that rock climbing class he thought was dumb. You get to move out of the town that he kept convincing you was “home.” You learn the most about yourself, because you separate from
your other half. I hate that saying. You are a whole person, and a boyfriend should be a addition to your life that makes it better, not whole.

4. Remember those friends

Remember those people you barely saw because you were spending the night at his house every night? Nobody has saved my life more than my good friends. It took me 20 years to find the angels that I have to this day. They will guide you through this world of creepy guys at the club, join you in bitter break up stunts, and honestly if the bond is strong and real, they will be there through the hardest times in your life forever.

5. They always get better

Girlfriend, I hate to admit it, but I’m a hopeless romantic. As cynical as I can be about love, I can tell you that each guy I get with is always better than the one before. This is because I have gotten to know myself so well, and I love myself enough to know that I would never settle for what I don’t deserve. Every person deserves to be loved, and to love. In high school there were five Alex’s in my Science class. They were all great, but I am not going to just pick one to be my science partner.

So ladies, please don’t think you need a boyfriend, and don’t rush into one because you want a man. Date yourself. Love yourself. Then you’ll know when it’s time.Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog