Did you just graduate college and now all of the sudden you have the feeling of urgency to figure out your life immediately? Maybe it’s just me, but holy shit, I have no clue what I’m doing!
I’m not your average college student; in fact, it took me around 8 years to graduate with a bachelor’s degree. Now I’m 29 with not a clue in the world where I’m going and what I’m doing. I still remember the day I graduated high school and that overwhelming feeling I had of “Now what?” This has been my whole life since kindergarten; where do I go now? Well, 29 and 18 are a little different, and though I have been “adulting” for a while, it’s time to focus on what things I want for my future. But what the hell is that?
I’ve always taken the road less traveled — I moved away from my hometown, family, and friends at 17 and finished high school in a new town that I barely knew anyone in because I felt the need for change, something different, a new path. I’ve always had this super stubborn independency about myself which often puts me in positions I’d rather not be in, and sometimes it can leave me feeling very lonely. Yes, being an independent woman sure has its perks, but it also has its downfalls. Especially when you meet really nice guys that want to take care of you, but you are too independent to let shit like that happen, sorry bro.
But let’s get back to graduating college, and how the sense of urgency makes us feel like we are drowning. For me, being 29 and unsure about my future while most of my friends are settling down in careers, getting married and starting families, makes me start sweating and get sick to my stomach. Look at me here: single, living in my friend’s basement, working a full-time job that I do not enjoy, with not a clue of what I’m doing.
Well, guess what — who gives a fuck? I’m here to tell you that just because you don’t have a clue what you are going to do doesn’t mean that you are inferior to anyone else. We all take different paths and it’s not anyone else’s job to make you feel pressured that you have to have it figured out by a certain age. I’m so tired of society making individuals feel as if they are behind just because they haven’t figured out their careers and love lives. We are all different people, with different backgrounds and different goals. Just because your goals aren’t the same as Mary’s doesn’t mean you should be looked at any differently.
So, take a breath and relax, because no matter if you figure it out today or you figure it out 4 years from now, the one thing that matters in this life is your happiness. We all know we could go out and find someone to fill the voids of loneliness or a career that we are not happy in, but is that what you really want? Absolutely not. Trust me, I’ve stayed on my independent path, worked jobs I despised, dated some serious douche canoes that tore me apart.
Now is the time to focus on yourself and the things you truly want, not what everyone else wants for you. Date that nice guy who you normally wouldn’t date (you might be pleasantly surprised), apply for that job that you don’t think you have a chance in hell at getting, and remember: you accomplished something so big. You have plenty of time to figure it all out. Trust the timing of your life.