Why Dating Your ‘Opposite’ Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Yourself


I’ll admit, I’m a person who is constantly living the future, and it’s not my best quality. When I was a preteen (and boyfriends and Hollister were the most important things in the universe), I used to imagine a day in the life of my “dream-relationship.”

It went something like this: My significant other and I would wake each other up every Saturday for our morning run. We’d crush six miles and then make breakfast together, whistling and humming. We would work side by side at a coffee shop, run errands all afternoon, walk our perfectly-groomed dog, and make a Paleo-inspired meal with ingredients from Whole Foods as we sipped wine and listened to our favorite acoustic artists in our spotless, stainless-steel covered kitchen.



I’m now seven years into my relationship, writing this in my boyfriend’s grungy hoodie. And to be honest, I can’t help but laugh at naïve, 13-year-old Abby, who was a little too confident in her eyeliner drawing abilities and this hilariously inaccurate expectation.

On an average Saturday, I’ll hit up the running trails for six miles, meet a friend for coffee, write a paper, run a few errands, and if I make it to my boyfriend’s house before noon, I can put money on the odds that he’ll still be sleeping.

I’ll usually tell him about my morning and all of the things I checked off my list. He’ll smile at me, say “wow” and “good for you” at all the right parts …and then begin his weekend with boxed mac and cheese and Netflix.

He’s my dream-guy.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s got his head on straight. I’m fully confident that when we graduate college next year, he’ll find a job to help support us (and our dog – that part with forever and always be 100% accurate). He’s kind to me and every other living thing on this planet, he does his techy I.S. homework, and he even makes an effort to clean his room before I come over.

But beyond our individual traits, we are hilariously and utterly different from each other, to the point where people ask us monthly, “So… how do you guys, you know, work?” Or, put another way, how does a girl who can’t sit still for a minute, who shoots for the 4.0 while training for marathons, date a guy with who crushes a marathon monthly on Netflix? How does a girl who worries about allll the things date a guy whose natural demeanor is best described as “relaxed,” “happy go lucky,” and “chill”?

To be honest, I’m not really sure.

But I do know that if I dated another “Abby” and lived out the scenario in my 13-year-old head, my relationship wouldn’t be half the one it is today.

In a world where I feel constant pressure to “stay busy” and “eat clean” and “shoot for perfection” and “go 110%,” my actual dream guy is my refreshing breath of fresh air, to chill out and to stay perfectly imperfect.

For all the power-couples out there with their “other halves,” you keep doing you. Go after your day side by side and share your interests in the ways the work best for you. But while you do that, I’ll be sitting over here with my “opposite half,” sipping my coffee, voicing worries or scheming plans while he gives me the smile and the “Oh, Abby…” and brings me back to life in the moment… where the only anticipation for the future comes from his Netflix queue: “Are you still watching?” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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