Nobody wants to be far away from their partner. It’s not something human beings are made for; we’re socialites, meant to be around people and create memories. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to be separated from our partner through college, jobs, or other obstacles. It’s hard, obviously, and it sucks.
You’ll have to deal with wanting more. You’ll want to see them every day. You’ll crave their body next to yours in those cold early mornings. You’ll miss the way they kiss you or hug you and how well you fit against them. Instead, you have to be satisfied with being able to hear their voice over a crackling phone line, or their pixelated face through a webcam. And if you both are in college, sometimes the means of seeing one other is way out of your pay grade.
So, if you don’t want to be included in the 40% of long distance relationships that fail with your significant other, here are some tips on what to do to keep you and your beaux close from across a country or even an ocean.
Keep in touch often.
This is crucial for keeping a relationship alive. Communication is key between two parties, so there’s no confusion on where things should go. Discuss with them how you’re going to communicate; and not simply texting. Not everything can be conveyed in a short message filled with emojis, unfortunately. My boyfriend and I typically call each other when we’re back at home and doing homework (he lives in Ireland, and I’m studying in America), and we Skype when we can. Set up a time to do calls and video chats. Online movie/tv show binge watch dates are really good for that, or even doing online games with them (I’ve gotten my boyfriend obsessed with online battleship, and it’s hilarious).
However, don’t over-communicate.
There will be days where there isn’t much going on and you feel separated from your significant other. This is totally normal. Some days, it’s just a simple “hey, just checking up on how you were doing” kind of talk, and then occasional texts throughout the rest of the day. Sometimes, if your partner is a few time-zones ahead, they may even go to bed earlier than you, leaving you to mope around for a few extra hours than normal. It’s totally normal to not have a lot to talk about, it happens to couples who live together, too.
Resist the urge to just drop everything and go to wherever they are.
The majority of the time, it’s not monetarily possible for you to see your significant other as often as you may want to. It’s almost guaranteed that you’re going to be getting thoughts of moving out there with them, transferring to their college, or doing some other wild thing that you’ll 100% regret if you break up with them. You should make those important decisions for you, not for them. I know it seems like they’ll always be there for you, but what if they aren’t? It’s not a pleasant thing to think about, but it’s definitely something to take into account if you are thinking of going to move closer to them.
Avoid dangerous situations.
Don’t down four shots of tequila and then try and talk to the creepy guy at the end of the bar who keeps giving glances at the hem of your dress. One, it puts you at risk of doing something you’ll regret, and just being in that situation puts pressure on your relationship anyway. Long distance relationships require lots of trust in them, and he/she should be able to trust you to not do anything stupid.
Remember that they’ll be back someday.
This distance isn’t forever. It’s just a temporary blip in your relationship. You’ll be together again eventually and your relationship will be stronger than ever. Patience Is key in a long distance relationship, just as important as trust.
And above all, if it doesn’t work out and you end up going separate ways, don’t worry about it too much. Life is too short to dwell on the fact that you couldn’t make one relationship work. And who knows? Maybe someday you’ll find your way back to each other.