You’re an independent individual who doesn’t need anyone, and that’s amazing. Being able to sustain yourself emotionally is probably one of the most important skills in life (only second to being able to physically sustain yourself, which is literally survival).
With that said, let’s get all the semantics out of the way. You’re independent, you’re happy, you love yourself, and you have a decent level of self-awareness. Now that we’re able to check off all those boxes, can we at least consider the possibility that being single sucks?
The degrees of satisfaction when it comes to relationship statuses is pretty simple. Being in a good relationship is better than being single and being single is a thousand times better than being in a toxic relationship. You might be so frustrated with dating that you tell yourself “being single is the best” in order to trick your mind into being content with your situation. But who are you trying to fool? Can you really make the argument that being single is better than being in a good relationship?
We’re all on this journey of life trying to improve ourselves and our circumstances, whatever it may be. Whether it’s your relationships, family, career, or health, the first step to self-improvement is being so honest with yourself that it hurts. On the topic of relationships, being brutally honest with yourself means really asking yourself why you’re single; talk to yourself, answer those questions that come to your head when you’re lying in your bed late at night trying to sleep. Those questions come to your mind for a reason: because you care.
Being honest not only helps you, it helps the people around you. Imagine your friend comes up to you to earnestly ask for relationship advice. Don’t you want to give them an answer that will help them instead of making excuses for them? For example, if you’re single because you’re focusing all your time and effort on your career, please for the love of God tell your friend that exact reason if it comes up while you’re giving them advice. That way, your friend might learn that if he wants to be in a relationship, he’ll have to shift some of his time and effort towards it. Don’t tell them some meaningless excuse like, “It’s not meant to be right now.” You might as well save your breath if you have nothing useful to say.
You only have one life to live, so don’t waste time lying to yourself. There’s a reason why you are where you are and the sooner you admit that the sooner your situation will be resolved. When it’s all said and done, you have two choices: you can continue living in your beautiful lie and hope that it never blows up in your face or you can deal with the situation directly and never worry about it again.
Admitting that you want to be in a relationship doesn’t make you desperate, it makes you self-aware. I’m not saying you should go out and tell everyone you’re looking for a relationship because that would be counter-productive. All I’m asking is for you to be honest with yourself.
“I’m not desperate for a relationship. But I do miss the feeling of having someone that can make me smile and feel appreciated. Someone that will make calling and texting me the first & last thing they do everyday. Someone that will be there to hold me when i feel vulnerable. Someone that will look past my flaws and love me for who I am. Someone that will give me butterflies in my stomach every time we’re together. Someone that i can call mine. ” — unknown