On Finding The Desire To Love Again After Heartbreak

Pablo Heimplatz / Unsplash

The desire to love after being burned by a past relationship is one of the greatest challenges we can face. But this is also telling of the resilience we have within. Once again, we are willing to endure the suffering, the pain, and the trauma; all for the hope of feeling the euphoria that comes with love once more. Of course, to desire something as powerful as love again, we need to be sure that we can take the hits, the drama, and the agony that comes with it. However, if we do score the jackpot, we can feel as if we have entered a hidden paradise, filled with a sense of jubilation that is only expressed in tales we no longer care to read. Love is a gamble but there are many who are willing to sink back into the depths of its chaos.

Some people might consider that to be crazy. “Only a masochist would want to go through all of that again,” a friend of mine once told me and I could not stop laughing because I agreed. But that is also the thrill of being in love, to get lost in something that is pure and to find yourself along the way and most importantly to share these experiences with a partner we trust.

However, before leaping into another relationship, it is imperative that we take the time to heal the wounds from the past before taking the plunge once more. Understand that we are still fragile beings and we need time to harden the shell, to love ourselves more and feel empowered when we are alone. Once we have gone through those steps of self-discovery and self-love, we can give ourselves truly to a worthy partner.

Again, this all involves trial and error. Some people are lucky enough to find their soulmates after a terrible relationship, others find their soulmates early on and cling to one another until old age and then there are the others that have to go through the insufferable journey of the never-ending trial and error. That trial and error phase can bring about many horrible people, but it also is a learning experience. If we keep attracting the same terrible energy, it shows that we need time to reflect, to heal something inside ourselves that is becoming a beacon for people that we should not have in our lives. It reminds me of the old saying, “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar,” and this is important for attracting positive energy. Make sure you are radiating the good within, so that your light can make you shine on the outside. The Law of Attraction also fits into this scope; keep positive energy by thinking in a positive way. Being pessimistic comes naturally to most of us, so shifting our thinking from the negative to positive can be challenging at first, but it does help in the long run. Your outlook for things will also transform and your confidence levels may also increase if you feel and believe it.

Making sure we are strong inside and filled with good vibes will keep the narcissists at bay because they will not feed off your good energy. Having a strong sense of self will prepare you to be strong enough to get rid of someone who is clearly trying to drain the life out of you. When we are focused and empowered, we make better choices, our minds are in sync with our heart and we strive for what serves us best. There is also empathy in us when we feel harmonized emotionally and spiritually. We will be compelled to help others, and this is important too. When we are in relationships at our strongest point, we will definitely attract partners that want to build and grow with us. It promotes honesty and trust in each other and strengthens your bond.

It is easy to want to forgo being in any form of relationship, due to fear of suffering the same hurt or opening the old wounds. Thinking this way is fine and those who can relate will also need lots of time to heal within. Rebuilding ourselves after something as devastating as a breakup can make everything around us seem like a challenge. Just remember that not all hope should be lost because things eventually do get better and that person that hurt you will long be forgotten with time.

When we seek the power of love, we should not be afraid of the word or its consequences. There are several forms of it and we can all benefit greatly from that feeling of happiness. If we do not seek a partner, we can cultivate Love for ourselves because we do hunger for it occasionally. There is also the love of friends, family, and pets. Channeling that energy helps us receive more positive vibes around us. Some of us might seek love in the form of a Spiritual entity. The way we foster and manifest it will only make our hearts grow and our souls happier.

Eventually, if we do decide to enter a relationship, we will be radiating Love in a such a powerful way that will make our partners see paradise. That is when we will form a meaningful bond, when our partner sees how beautiful we truly are inside and you get to reciprocate that love effortlessly. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog