“I have a beautiful apartment. It’s really big. I have my dream job. I lost 50 lbs. I am living the life I always wanted, but I’m lonely.”
We did not find “dannie hawkins” in Books
Our lives are inherently lonely. But to be born human is to be born with capacity to beat back this loneliness the way light conquers darkness. We love so that we may feel less lonely and more permanent.
There is a vulgarity to all this nervousness and I’m nervous about that too.
SCORPIO: You’ve brushed so much under the rug that it’s become noticeable. There’s now a lump to avoid in the center of your floor and the only thing left to do is confront it.
Cry into a cup and promise yourself it won’t happen again. Promise yourself this is the last night of self-hatred. Promise yourself tomorrow is a new day, a new start.
Sometimes, I resent that my heart invests so deeply. I’m upset that I can’t just walk away.
Are you a Buffy fan? Do your interests also include speaking at length about natal charts at parties? Then look no further! Let me welcome you to a place where Buffy The Vampire Slayer and astrology collide!
Because it’s hard to sit there and write a book. Really really hard. Someone should write a book how hard it is.
I know you’re going to say I’m an idiot, but I thought the whole formal date thing was unnecessary, a step that has to be taken by dumb people who aren’t as good as I am in judging people’s characters.
That afternoon I was trying to press my soft body up against something hard and rough, industrial but wearing human skin.
It’s never been about just having someone, it’s having the right someone. Being single is a goddamn gift if the alternative is having the wrong someone.
You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because she’s perfected her fake smile, her fake laugh. She knows how to look like she’s having the time of her life when she’s secretly dying inside. She knows how to fool you into believing she’s okay.
Have you tried exercising?
Pretend I don’t miss hard alcohol and bad decisions and people who made me chase them.
You buy your groceries – veggies only, because you’re going on a diet. Time to achieve every goal you’ve ever had. Fitness, career, lifestyle – you’ve got all this time now. Your Amazon orders are click-click-click flowing, and it’ll take 2-3 business days for your new life to begin.
I have this dream where I don’t have to keep coming out over and over. Where people don’t think my sexuality is a phase unless I can produce a girlfriend on command. Where people stop asking me who fucks better: men or women.
Keep growing. Keep waiting for that day that fabled teenage sex-drive kicks in for you and you find the opposite sex irresistible. Keep waiting.
Forever means that you never get to stop growing, as an individual or as a couple. Because the second you turn your back on growth—on the sheer will and work it takes to evolve, as people and as partners—your relationship will begin to erode.
Oh, so Kathy, who I used to watch throw up just so she could drink more, is now expecting her first kid? Great. This block of cheddar cheese and I are expecting our first baby too.
We don’t need to agree on the issues, we just need to agree on our common humanity.
When your friends are having trouble in their relationships, you often know before they do.
You are worth so much more than #travel. You are worth an imprint on this world, something that people will remember you for!
I will gut you if I need to.
I will carve my way out
with only my teeth.
There is no more silence left here, not in this room. I fill it up. Cheeping voices from @handles. Facebook posts lambasting presidents and showing off stepping stones, I bought a house! I had a kid! I ate this pizza!
The scene in Best in Show where the pet shop employee has the audacity to suggest that a fish is the same as a bee hit way too close to home. Your dog would absolutely be able to tell the difference. People these days…
Romance is like religion in that it’s completely illogical, but that doesn’t stop people from giving their lives over to it.
You are never going to be able to stop yourself from screaming your love from rooftops, you will never be able to play it cool.
You do not need to change yourself,
for boys who fell in love with
a beautiful, wild thing
that they are too ill equipped
and must cage to ‘handle’.
My mom’s generation of girls couldn’t communicate the way we do. She couldn’t type out how dry her pussy was or tell her friends how it felt to fold her body into another in a car in the rain
I’m not the kind of girl you can call when you’re lonely.
Thanks for making me feel so horrible and heartbroken that all I could do was just write it out.
It can make a gal feel insecure to sit in the Love Train’s first car while her man rides caboose for a lengthy stretch, but it happens.
I exposed my body to well below freezing temperatures to see what all the celeb-fueled cryo fuss is about.
“Come eat a bowl of oranges off of me”.
This is me accepting that you’re leaving. It’s my acknowledgment that there’s no further argument to make, no angle left to take, no plea or bargain I could wager that could get you to change your mind and stay.
The DJ queues the “Jock Jams” hit, “Ya’ll Ready For This?”
You have three hairstyles: down, ponytail, and bun.
It always ended this way. Late afternoon and again in bed, staring at the wall. 3 pm…it could collapse you, the way the sunlight comes in, angular, moving, to only again disappear.
No amount of double holidays or double birthday celebrations could have made up for what you actually wanted all along: a family you could call yours.
The lights in the sky have always meant home. The North. Miles of flat road and high beams and no one else around.
The Language Police Mom
Men are always staring into my face, staring into my mouth blaring red like it always does, and I want to stop and ask them, “What are you going to find there?”
The most honest depictions of a woman’s power over a man can be found in literature, as Clive James argues in his book Cultural Amnesia. He gives the example of “the first thing that happens in literature”: “Troy burned because Paris was smitten by Helen’s beauty.”
I had a camper who I believed by every definition, sense and all the way to my heart, was demon-possessed.
Distance isn’t always such a bad thing.
In those moments I let myself remember the touch of your hand on mine, the longing in your face that I stay calm.
Isolate yourself until you’re lonely and not just alone, until you can’t stand to stay away any longer, until you begin to wonder why you holed up in this jail cell in the first place. Everything, everywhere will feel like a jail cell.
Tell me I have great tits. Tell me you like the smell of sweat. These are small things that I can believe and I will believe them more if you show me, and believe me, all I want is to believe. Show me how you stroke your cock when you wake up in the morning and you have a little time.
A girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder.
Feel resigned about the fact that sex sometimes doesn’t happen for weeks. Start to feel apathetic about lack of intimacy, orgasm and physical touch. Become overly silly. Hide the fact that you’re not addressing her problems with jokes, funny voices, inappropriately loud talking and tickling.
Fun and flirty. Humorous. Social. Curious. Energetic. Very energetic. It is going to take a lot of stamina to keep up with the Sagittarius woman.
It’s just that sometimes we try to turn these temporary people into forever people but that’s not their role. They’re not meant to stay in our lives forever. God called them to be there for us for only a short period of time.
Did you use the right filter for that ‘gram of your impeccably prepared acai bowl?
One day you will be the reason someone stays. You will be the reason why they no longer run away. You will be the person who makes them want to settle down.
She’s strong, because she shows up, even when she’s shaking. She speaks, even when it’s with a cracked voice. She keeps breathing, even when those breaths are shaky.