‘Is This Love?!’ 22 People Share Exactly How They Knew It Was Finally The Real Thing
"When you look into that part of your brain that has ALWAYS has a nagging feeling that every relationship you've been in might not be right... and you're shocked to find there's nothing there at all."
By Lisa Woods
1. When That Nagging Doubt Is Finally Gone
When you look into that part of your brain that has ALWAYS has a nagging feeling that every relationship you’ve been in might not be right… and you’re shocked to find there’s nothing there at all. When it seems ridiculous that you actually thought you liked any of those other people you used to have a crush on/date because they’re just so obviously not suited for you in hindsight. When you realize you’re an endless source of entertainment for each other, that you can spend two weeks together 24/7 in close quarters on a trip, and then still spontaneously stay up all night talking the night after you get back. When everything’s easier because you basically think the same way, and the ways in which they think different delight and entertain you.
2. They Are Your Refuge
I am reminded that I love him when I come home from a terrible day at the office, and seeing him makes everything terrible seem trivial because I am so happy and at ease to come home to him. Also, we can openly discuss pooping.
3. You No Longer Have To Pretend They’re Flawless
When you can accept their flaws. No one’s perfect, if you’re telling yourself “Wow Cindy is so perfect I love her so much everything she does is right ~” you’ve just got a crush. People are flawed, whether they’re selfish, lazy, passive aggressive, whiny, etc. Everyone does things that would annoy you. Loving someone isn’t whitewashing them, it’s loving all the great things and all the shitty things.
4. Fart Wrestling
I recently looked my partner in the eye and told her that I love her dearly, but sometimes she pisses me off to no end. She said the same about me. Then I farted on her crotch and then wrestled on the kitchen floor about it. That is love.
5. The Entire Future Changes
I knew when I could not think of a future without her in it.
6. The Nugget Test
When you’re eating chicken nuggets and instead of offering to split the last one you give them the whole thing.
7. You Truly Care About Them More Than Yourself
I’d like to think you start to love someone when you care about them more than yourself. It’s when you would do anything for them just to make them happy. You could spend everyday with her/him and never want things to change. The worst part about this feeling…is when they don’t feel it too.
8. Happy Alone Is Nothing
You know you love someone when you’d rather be upset with each other than happy alone.
9. Together You’re Timeless
Time starts behaving weird. Like you’ll be talking and suddenly it’s 3:30 in the morning. And you’ll be absolutely convinced that there’s no way that could be right.
10. When They Make You More
When you realize that being around this person makes you want to be better yourself. That all your long talks, all your deeply intimate conversations, spark a motivation in you that you’ve never had before.
When she’s always on your mind. Not necessarily at the forefront, but always there. And you make better choices and work harder just for the thought of her. And every day you catch yourself thinking about the times you’ve spent together.
And even her trust issues and her need to take things slowly don’t put you off. When you accept her flaws and lows because they’re still her.
That’s love, I think.
11. It Really Conquers All
When they do something idiotic and all you can think is “I love that moron.”
12. This Is What “Partner” Means
To put it as simply as possible, when there are no doubts.
You don’t feel insecure around this person. You don’t have to impress them, or hide parts of yourself from them. You don’t feel like you have to pretend around them to ‘protect’ them from who you really are.
They are the person that makes you feel comfortable in your own skin.
They are the person you strive to be more like- you admire them and their good qualities, and they challenge you to be a better person every day. It’s not that you would change for them, but that you would strive to be better for yourself.
They are your partner in all things, and as such, they move through different parts of your life seamlessly. There’s no friction over friends, jobs, hobbies, etc. Any part of your lives that you disagree on, you still respect and accept, because you trust and value their judgment.
13. You Will Know
May sound silly but if you really love them you will “know”. They won’t ever leave your mind.
14. When They Remain “The One”
When I still get butterflies in my stomach thinking about her even though we’ve known each other for almost a decade.
When I care about her more than anything else
When imagining myself spending the rest of my life with one person, she’s the one who pops to mind
When the thought of her not being in my life simply isn’t a possibility.
15. You Fear Losing Them
I knew I loved my SO when I would watch movies or shows where someone’s SO died or was separated from them and I’d start crying because I was scared of that happening to him.
16. You Miss The Bad Things Too
When I miss his jokes even though they’re bad.
17. Love Perseveres
At the beginning of a relationship, when everything about your partner is perfect…that isn’t love. When you’ve been together long enough to start to see their faults, that you want them to change so that you can be happy… that isn’t love. When you realize that you want to be with that person just as they are, flaws and all, that is love.
18. Contentment
I realized when I saw the girl and I couldn’t help but smile and feel content.
19. Funny But True
If she showed up at your door covered in blood you would let her stay there to hide from the cops.
20. The Difference Becomes Like Night And Day
For me, it was when I compared my current relationship to past relationships, and the difference was night and day. I really thought I loved my ex-girlfriend. The nagging doubts and the endless fights and the constant wondering that maybe there was someone better out there, I actually believed those were just a normal part of a healthy relationship. But now I have no doubts. I don’t want to avoid my girlfriend, I want to see her everyday. I think about her when I’m feeling down and I feel better because of it. We haven’t had a single fight ever. We want nothing more than for the other person to be happy and comfortable, and I love her more than I thought possible. I don’t know what else to say. You kind of just know when it happens.
21. “I” Becomes “Us”
For me, it’s realizing my identity has changed. I’m a part of two people now, and if someone took her away I would be broken because I would be half of what I’m suppose to be.
22. It’s The Same As Having A Passion For Anything Else
The same way you know you love something; you begin to live your life for them. If you love, truly love music, you’ll live in a focus on music, surrounding yourself in and dedicating your time to it. If you truly love your job, simply doing it well is what will bring you satisfaction and happiness and your paycheck is simply how you survive so you can continue doing what makes you happy.
In much the same way, if you truly love someone, your life and your happiness becomes intertwined with theirs. You live in a state of directing your focus and effort towards their happiness and satisfaction.