Hos b4 Bros: The Broken Social Contract

For sake of continuity, we shall observe the informal (and somewhat politically insensitive) vernacular of “bros” and “hos” in the following article. May it be known that this contributor, with bro-like qualities, is not a full on bro; nor does he believe that all women are hos.

Divine Intervention Prolongs Brett Favre’s Epic Streak

The inflatable roof of the Metrodome, home of the Minnesota Vikings, collapsed today due to heavy snow. This act of God postponed the game between the Vikings and Giants until tomorrow. ESPN is hailing the incident as help from above to keep sexting Quarterback Brett Favre’s historic ‘streak’ of never missing a football game alive.

My Teenage Dream: How 90210 Sucked Me In

Unlike the Dawson’s Creek gang, who worked phrases like “statute of limitations on mourning a break-up” into everyday conversation, these teens actually talk like teens, and this L.A. zip code isn’t populated by the sort of stereotypical archetypes that dominated The O.C. Liam is supposed to be the tortured, brooding hunk (see Dylan and The O.C.’s Ryan), but he isn’t just that.

How I Plan On Spending Christmas Day

I’ll probably spend a great deal of time on the Internet. Being on the Internet is the most fun ever. I don’t care if it’s cool to say “go outside and smell a tree,” or, “It’s nice outside, why stay cooped up inside on the computer?” All I have to say to things like this is: “Because I’m a grown ass woman and I can do whatever the eff I want, retard.”

Welcome to Babyburg!

Days spent at Bleecker Park, Leroy Park, and Leroy Library have given me glimpses of women who I am positive are in, as the Gawker article once noted, “sexless marriages.” They’re worn-out, annoyed, and very much “over it.” They can really only focus on their manicure, their high-end shoes, or the fact that their youth is pretty much over.