September 9, 2016

What It Really Feels Like To Be Lost As An Adult

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De Westelinck Smith
De Westelinck Smith

Your 16 year old self would probably think that at the age of 23 you’ll be able to figure things out; that you’ll have your whole life mapped out, starting from your career goal to the enjoyment of freedom because you get to make your own decisions and just live the life you’ve always wanted away from the prying eyes of your parents. This is how you might foresee your future.

Heck your 16 year old self would probably be psyched at the idea of adulthood!

But what if it’s the complete opposite? What if it’s not completely how you expected it to be?

Because not all of us are lucky enough to have a head start towards the journey of becoming whom they are destined to be, to go for the career path they’ve always wanted, and to know what field to pursue.

Who would know adulthood could be too damn depressing and stressful?

You’ve probably never prayed this hard because you’re tired of making poor choices in life, and for once you want to make at least one right decision because you just want to hear the people around you say that they are proud of you!

Seeing your friends being good at whatever they do, traveling, or even starting their own family, and just being HAPPY and enjoying whatever life has to offer just makes you want to detach yourself from them because the mere presence of them suffocates you, it’s not that you envy them or that you’re done being friends with them.. it’s just that you are not proud of what you are becoming at the moment and you just feel so small around them.

You start to develop anxieties that haunt you and keep you up all night; you start to doubt yourself and your capabilities because you just can’t seem to find what you’re good at. Sometimes these mirages of feelings become too overwhelming that you just find it hard to breathe, it’s consuming every bit of you.

It’s like you have this fire burning inside of you just waiting to be unleashed.

As cliché as it may sound, the world doesn’t stop even when you’re hurting. I slowly understand that mistakes are inevitable no matter how old you are, hell you might continue making the same mistakes over and over, but that’s the beauty of life, every day is a chance for you to change, to improve or even learn.

Anxieties are there because you know deep down inside, you have something to offer to the world! Obstacles aren’t always gonna make your life a living hell forever; they are there for a reason, it will hone you make you stronger.

So continue thriving, explore, and don’t stop until you find your place in this world!

BE BOLD! BRAVE! TAKE RISKS! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

Focus on the “NOW” rather than what could’ve been should’ve been or would’ve been.

Welcome every hardship with open arms but do not succumb to it, because as soon as the wheels have finally turned, triumph will be more than worth it.  TC mark

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