Xerox the exit slips on Monday and cut them into rectangles; Xerox the attendance sheets on Friday and leave them in your clipboard; don’t erase the previous night’s homework until it’s on the website; bookmark the pages you want to reference during class; keep the desks in straight rows; when answering a question about what you did over the weekend, be vague, lest they learn anything about your personal life; is it true that you ran into an 8th grader on the Jersey Shore boardwalk in a romper last spring?; always check your teeth for poppy seeds after breakfast; before a double-period, make sure you use the restroom; don’t play questionable music during freewriting; but I was three hours from the city — am I not supposed to wear rompers on the beach three hours away?; this is how to put up a bulletin board; this is how to make a grading rubric; this is how to comment on a terrible essay; this is how to comment on a mediocre essay; this is how to comment on a mediocre essay when you know the students’ parents are getting divorced; this is how to write emails to families; this is how to upload photos to create a newsletter; don’t try to include photos of everyone, because it won’t happen and the parents will wind up complaining about something anyway; don’t lecture for 45 minutes, but don’t show too many movies; when a student wants to share, let him; this is how to make sure your skirt is long enough so you don’t run into another romper situation; this is how to teach a book that you despise; this is how to hold a conference; this is how to remain calm during a conference; this is how to show evidence of student work during a conference, and if that doesn’t work you can ask the student to come in, and if that still doesn’t work don’t feel too bad about failing her; this is how to refill your coffee mug during breaks; this is how to leave work for a sub; always write clear instructions on worksheets so students can work independently; but where is a safe distance to go away for the weekend?; you mean to say that after all this you still think you’re going to have any free time this year?
A | A | A
It’s the end of the year so you know what that means: it’s time for end-of-the-year album “Best Ofs”!
Your love. Your passion. Your taste. That’s the reason you’re here. You still belong, even if you don’t feel like it right now. Your taste can be killer even if your ability is questionable.
There are a multitude of misconceptions about the service industry and I feel it is my duty to set a few of them straight.
One should never look like they’re trying too hard, especially not when they’re in the midst of trying so hard they’re giving themselves an ulcer.