Breaking up with a friend is tough.
This has been bothering me for the longest time and today it finally snapped within me when I saw you.
It’s true what they say, breaking up with a friend is even harder than breaking up with a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Especially a friend you’ve known your whole life, literally.
I’ve always debated with myself if it was worth it going through all this with you again, or if you were even friend material. Sometimes I just wanted to tear your hair out for doing whatever you did to me, but sometimes I just wanted to hug you and tell you how much I missed you.
Sometimes, on days where I feel a little bolder, I would draft out a text to send you in my head, but of course, it never materializes. The only thing that would actually happen is me going to your Facebook page and looking at your photo, and then the cycle repeats. Me tearing your hair out or having a cat fight in public (in my head), or actually telling you I miss you so much it’s driving me insane because I can’t do anything about it.
I know how my other friends keep telling me you’ll only regret the things you didn’t do, but really? Was I going to put myself in a position whereby I look like the pathetic, needy friend that was not over what happened to us 5 years ago?
Today when I was still at war with myself, it hit me. What was there for me to lose? I picked up my phone, together with my huge new pair of balls I grew and sent that simple text. I sent that text, muted my phone and put it back on my bedside table face down. I did not know what to expect. Everyone made it so simply. “Just do it! If she replies, good, if she doesn’t, she’s not worth it, and you’ve got your answer!”
But of course, it was easy for them to say, they don’t know what we went through together.
After contemplating about it, I finally did it. I sent that text that finally materialized. It was a 7 word text, but here goes nothing.
To a better friendship/ To finding out who is / isn’t worth it.