She Asked Me, ‘Are You Happy?’

She asked me, “Are you happy?”
I imagined myself saying
“Of course, I am!”
Well, why wouldn’t I be?
I got a job and my colleagues are awesome
But I just smiled instead

She asked me, “Are you happy?”
I imagined myself telling her
that my father came back home
and we are a complete family again
but our home has destroyed us too much to stay the same
So, I just smiled instead

She asked me, “Are you happy?”
I imagined myself saying that I’ve moved on
that I’ve recovered from the fall
but even the strongest wings break
and mine is still full of stitches
So, I just smiled instead

She asked me, “Are you happy?”
I imagined telling her stories about my friends
but I know none of them know
what I battle against with at night
and they can never know
because my demons are mine alone

She asked me, “Are you happy?”
I looked around me to look for answers
I looked around me to find what the word means
and I wanted to ask her back if she is
Because how are we supposed to know?

She asked me, “Are you happy?”
I imagined myself smiling
but what I did was cry —
the slow and silent sob
because the truth is, I am so so tired

She asked me, “Are you happy?”
I still don’t know the answer