Thought Catalog
February 24, 2017

I Need To Fully Love Myself Before I Can Fully Love You

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Unsplash, Shelby Deeter
Unsplash, Shelby Deeter

“Dear future husband, I’m praying for you.” – Your future wife

I don’t want you to be my everything.

Before all else, it is essential that I am 100% secure with myself before I commit any part of me to you. I need to be my own everything. It is my obligation to establish the specific type of person I’m striving to be. I want to become the best version of myself for not only our future, but for me too. I want to explore my heart and soul. I want to discover what makes me irritable and be able to create my own kind of happiness.

I spent a great deal of my life harshly criticizing the reflection I saw. I want to have the confidence to look in the mirror and know that I am beautiful with or without affirmation from you.

I don’t want you to be the director of my emotional state either. I don’t want to rely on you solely to feel as though I have a purpose on this earth. I can say with great sureness that situations such as those would ultimately lead me to a destination of worthlessness.

I vow to never go back there.

I am at fault for depending on another person to make me feel alive. I allowed them to be the reason behind whether I had a good day or not. I gave every last piece of myself to the point that in the end, there was nothing left, but flesh and bone.

I refuse to allow myself to do that again.

I vow to not love anyone more than I love myself.

If somewhere along this expedition of life, we find each other, and our worlds begin to merge, I will allow you to be my best friend, my soulmate, and maybe even my person, but you will not be my everything. You can be my glass of wine and I’ll be your shot of whiskey.

I want you to clear me of any uncertainty and challenge me with your sanity. I want you to be completely open and honest with me. Respect me, cherish me, choose me, and love me. If you do that for me, I can reciprocate that right back to you. Lets go on adventures, build each other up, and finish this journey together as a team.

If the universe begins to challenge our love, let’s allow our intelligence to overpower our impulsive emotions. Through the disagreements we will continue to water the seeds of our love with reassurance, intimacy, trust, encouragement, and communication.

I know my own worth and know exactly what I am capable of. I am madly dedicated to my friends, family, degree, career, fitness, and passions. With or without this relationship, I am me, and my own kind of everything. I wish for you to have the same mindset. I wish for you to vow to never lose yourself, and to love, and to cherish yourself before me.

I wish for you to be yours and me to be mine.

As for us, we can be everything together. TC mark