The cabdriver stares at my glassy, drunk eyes as he heads toward your home.
Hearing the sound of your voice, I become certain of one thing.
I become certain that tonight, I will hurt myself.
That tonight I will strip myself down to my bones.
Tonight my nude body will be wrapped in your cold, red sheets.
Tonight your fingertips will tug at my skin and I will enjoy the pain, endlessly begging you to “hurt me more”.
Tonight I will bite my lip as your grip grows tighter around my neck, silently praying that you will grasp too hard.
Tonight I will sleep on the edge of your bed creating the loneliest image of emptiness between our bare corpses.
Tonight I will close my eyes knowing well that my body has been used to your convenience.
In the morning, my eyes will burn with shame.
My skin will set to fire as your body rolls on top of mine.
Closing my eyes, I drift away while you pretend to love my body.
Soon after you will separate our sunlit bodies.
“You should probably go soon”, will slip out of the teeth that made indentations on my bare chest hours before.
You know how much I love to hurt myself, don’t you?