April 18, 2013

Sorority Email Girl Joins ‘Girls’

I heard a rumor that the reason Christopher Abbott left Girls is because he wasn’t happy with the way things were going. As we’ve been able to get a small, very-poorly written section of next season’s script where it seems Lena Dunham hired the same Sorority Girl from today’s email to join the cast, this choice might shed light on his departure.

INT. – Hannah’s Apartment – Night

Hannah is on the floor, still wearing her oversized brown t-shirt from last season.

SORORITY GIRL, Hannah’s new roommate, walks into the apartment.

HANNAH

(without getting up)

Hey. I’ve been lying here all day in an existential crisis.

SORORITY GIRL

(rolls her eyes)

Ugh, punch yourself right now so I don’t have to find you in your room later to do it myself.

HANNAH

(hurt)

But this time it’s really serious.

(rolls over to look at SORORITY GIRL)

I feel like my voice isn’t being heard so why should I even be speaking?

(Sorority girl is clearly annoyed Hannah hasn’t gotten up.)

SORORITY GIRL

Hannah, I’m going to cunt punt you if you don’t get the fuck up.

(Hannah rolls away from Sorority Girl.)

HANNAH

I’ll just roll to my room.

SORORITY GIRL

(starts to fill with rage)

Are you fucking retarded? I swear to fucking god if I see you being a boner at tonight’s event, I will tell you to leave even if you’re sober.

HANNAH

I don’t really even want to go. Lately I don’t feel like going anywhere.

SORORITY GIRL

(giving up on Hannah)

Oh go fuck yourself.

With this poorly written script and bizzarre casting choice, it’s really no surprise Christopher left. TC mark

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girl image – Wiki Commons

Todd Van Luling

I’m a student at William & Mary in Colonial Williamsburg. If you would like me to write something for you I’d …