January 2, 2013

Aaron Carter Felt Very Sexual Last Night

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What is the issue?
The Fantasticks
The Fantasticks

I never want to have to say, “I used to be famous in alt circles on the internet.”

If I become famous I never want to fade away and tweet at other fading micro-celebrities about how we used to sort of be someone to some people.

I don’t want to be tagged less and less every week on Tumblr.

I don’t want to sit in bed refreshing my Tumblr tag realizing my 15 reblogs is already up.

“Internet child star for two months” is a tombstone of nightmares.

I don’t want to have to remember the times I thought every retweet was me being a little closer to making it.

I don’t want the retweets to be less and less every week.

I’m sure I’d still have a large following on Twitter even if I were only temporarily famous as people felt too lazy to unfollow me. Maybe they’d just feel too guilty knowing I use an app like “Unfollow” and can see exactly who has given up on me and when.

I don’t want to feel like cast members of The Real World after the cameras leave.

I don’t want to feel like Soulja Boy when he turns on the radio and can no longer hear his songs.

My heart breaks.

I want everyone who was once cared about to be cared about forever.

I want everyone who felt they were making their family proud by being someone to be able to show up to family reunions being someone forever.

A tweet from Aaron Carter popped in my feed tonight.

He said, “I’m extremely sexual right now.”

I clicked on his profile and found out that he’s currently starring in a musical in Times Square called The Fantasticks.

I went to the Fantasticks website.

I saw the aged Aaraon Carter with spiked hair and a popped collar.

I saw the tattooed embrace he shared with his co-star.

I posted all of these things on my friend’s wall without really thinking about it.

A sort of, “there’s so many eggs on Aaron Carter’s face right now” sort of thing.

Later in the night Aaron Carter tweeted about spending time with his grandpa who is on his deathbed.

Aaron Carter went to see his grandpa right after his musical performance which he dedicated to him.

Multiple fans on Twitter started reaching out to Aaron Carter expressing their condolences.

One of the fans that he retweeted claimed she was trying to make #WeLoveGrandpaDoug start trending.

Aaron Carter has 294,508 followers.

Although I’m skeptical of how many of those people don’t scroll over his tweets in their feed this is still nearly 100,000 more followers than BuzzFeed’s Twitter account.

Aaron Carter could dominate the social web.

Just now he tweeted a picture of him and his sister together with his grandpa.

They all seem happy just to be together.

Proud of each other for still being alive if only for a few more moments.

We should all be so lucky.

Aaron Carter could be a cultural force once again.

I would still go to Aaron’s Party.

But he doesn’t need all of that to be doing alright.

Aaron Carter’s just fine.

Aaron Carter is absolutely going to be OK. TC mark

Todd Van Luling

I’m a student at William & Mary in Colonial Williamsburg. If you would like me to write something for you I’d …

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