Thought Catalog
February 4, 2015

Why We Obsess Over The Things We Can’t Have

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Flickr / Jorge Sanmartín Maïssa
Flickr / Jorge Sanmartín Maïssa

Ever get to the point where you’re stalking every aspect of someone’s life on social media? Craving any knowledge you can get on who the person is today and where they are now? Then suffer the same devastating pain when you realize that you don’t know them, they don’t know you and they don’t want to.

As a culture we obsess over what we can’t have. Some obsess over money, and nice cars or fancy houses while others obsess over someone, a person, a feeling they get. We obsess over the things we can’t have because it’s not fair and we don’t understand why.

We can never grasp the thing we are craving long enough to be fully satisfied. We obsess over the thing we are chasing until we aren’t who we once were. We become these unsatisfied empty people constantly in a search for something more. We aren’t happy with what is right in front of us. All the amazing things we have in our life go unnoticed. We obsess over that feeling we got when we were with that “special someone” and we don’t want to let it go. We can’t let it go because in our heads it’s exactly what we think we need.

We have this block where we don’t realize that the thing we think we need, causes most of our pain. Instead of moving on with our lives and exploring the next great adventure, we are stuck. We are fixated on something that once was, and never will be again. We begin to wonder what we are missing out on, then get pissed when we don’t have the answer.

Our minds race with all of the other possibilities.

We can’t stand the fact that someone who once served a large person in our lives, is no longer serving that purpose anymore. We don’t like to think that they could be a huge role in another person’s life. It is too much to fathom. So we do what we do best. We obsess over what was. We hold on to the feelings we used to get and the happy memories. We block out every shitty fight and every crying episode. We want to remember only the good things.

Oftentimes what we forget is that we need to let go of the things that no longer help us grow. Even if it’s hard to admit to ourselves, sometimes the best thing to do, is forget the people who forgot us. Even if it’s hard, it’s what is best at the end of the day.

Surround yourself with people who help you grow. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and help you be a better you. Remind yourself that you are right where you’re supposed to be. The universe is working on you, don’t give up. TC mark

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