Drinking My Way Through 14 Dating Websites
By Tiffany Peón
Hi Thought Catalogers,
If you clicked to this page I’m assuming that you fall into one of the following categories:
- You enjoy drinking
- You are interested in Online Dating
- You think clicking things is fun
Whatever your reason, I’ll take it. I’m just excited to tell you about my Thought Catalog Original ebook, “Drinking My Way Through 14 Dating Websites.”
A few years ago, I was totally underwhelmed with my life. I spent most of my evenings crying over my ex and attempting to numb the pain with an overconsumption of sandwiches. After a few months of feeling sorry for myself, I decided it was time to snap out of it by signing up for every online dating site I could find (14 to be exact). I used my personal blog to document the dates. Behind the scenes I was reconnecting with my ex and experiencing some major soul searching, but above all else I was getting drunk with strangers.
While I totally recommend reading it sober, it also makes for a bomb-ass drinking game. How is it a bomb-ass drinking game, you ask?
LIKE THIS –
Every time I mention a form of transportation: Take a sip
Every time I think about something deep while en route: Take a shot
Every time I mention Austin: Take a shot
You see the words, “Spicy Special”?: Take a fucking shot. It’s the best sandwich ever, and if you’ve never had it you are formally invited to my apartment in Morningside Heights so that I can buy you one.
Every time I mention my job: Finish your drink, because I was working in Customer Service at the time.
Whenever I mention my guinea pigs: Shots! Shots! Shots! Shotsshotsshots! (So that’s like, two shots. Of limoncello, because I’m not a sadist or anything). Yes, shit gets real in this game. Feel free to substitute with whatever you have hanging out in your fridge. Beer and siracha anyone?
When you get to the part about the first time I had a kiss forced upon me and the subsequent times too: WATERFALL. YOU WILL NEED IT.
If you like reading things, or if you like drinking things — this ebook is for you! If you like reading things and drinking things, it would be like, blasphemy (or at least really irresponsible) to not purchase it.