10 Reasons Why You Should Never Marry A Psych Major

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1. They won’t go to counseling with you. They think they know anything the counselor is going to say.

2. They will diagnose you repeatedly. The problem is always with you, because they have ‘already sorted out their own past’.

3. They think they’ve sorted out their past.

4. The whole reason they declared a psych major was to manage things they intuitively knew they hadn’t from their past. They may have actually come to acknowledge and understand what had happened, but that’s still a far cry from healing from it in a way that it no longer implicated future relationships.

5. If they don’t get a job in their field right off the bat, they will feel the need to evaluate and diagnose everyone they meet. If you happen to know less about Psychology than them, you will not have the breadth of knowledge to argue a different perspective, this bolstering their pre-emptive diagnoses’ and entrenching them in their perspective.

6. They’re always waiting for the latest DSM updates so they can hone in their diagnoses of you more acutely.

7.They will admit to an issue in some minor area of their past and be able to explain how it’s already been dealt with and couldn’t possibly be informing or complicating their situation. This is a smokescreen, and they have virtually no idea they are doing it.

8. They’re shit talkers. What may at first seem to you a compassionate conversation about issues with mutual friends, is a subconscious method of making their own problems seem minor.

9. They’re prescriptive. They will encourage you to visit a psychiatrist, explaining what issues to communicate to them and how. They are causing you to frame the situation in a way certain to earn you the prescription and diagnosis they themselves offered in the first place.

10. Like anything in life, when you accept or allow anyone else’s definition of you to supersede your own, you will end up unhappy and discontent. While you still have the choice of whom to partner your life with, do yourself a favor and duck. There is a bullet coming your way.