Thought Catalog
June 9, 2017

Having Sex With A Teacher Isn’t At All Like What You See On TV

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You see the movies and TV shows where it happens. Sex on their desk when it’s their office hours. Sexual favors in exchange for an A on their papers. Falling in love and taking photos with paper bags on your heads. (Looking at you, Ezria.) Being involved with a teacher seems so ideal, doesn’t it?

Sorry to burst your bubble, but it’s not all hot and scandalous all the time. In fact, it’s usually the exact opposite.

1. They’ll balance out potential favoritism by being harder on you.

Here’s the thing: professors don’t want anybody to know that they’re involved with a student. That’s grounds for being immediately fired, and most professors don’t want to lose their jobs, because an income is kind of necessary when you’re an adult. When your class time comes, don’t expect them to let you skip in lieu of a make out session in the employee bathroom or let you answer all the questions due to extra “studying” time. They’re more likely to grade you harder than others, grill you, and chastise you in front of everybody in order to avoid other students noticing any kind of chemistry or connection. (Of course, too much nastiness can also lead others to suspect, so you’ll have to put in a little effort to maintain professionalism, too.)

2. Sex on their desk isn’t a thing.

Because office doors being locked while they’re in there? It’s kind of obvious that something is going on. While some might write it off as their private time, others will raise eyebrows when you walk out of there with hair out of place and a small grin on your face.

3. Easy A’s are out of reach.

Yeah, you’re not gonna get away with writing a half-assed paper on something, citing false sources, and turning in your paper later than the beginning of class because you’re going over to their house later anyway. Your student-teacher relationship is just that at school, and your other relationship is whatever your relationship is – fuck buddies, friends, whatever you want to call it – at your apartments. They’re not going to want to read your homework while you give them a blowjob, trust me. And you probably won’t appreciate critiques on your grammar while you’re fondling their chest. It’s really unsexy, if you think about it.

4. They’ll transfer schools to be with you. (Again, looking at you, Ezria.)

Professors, unless they’re truly unhappy at their work, will, again, want to keep their jobs. They won’t risk unemployment because you’re packing, or because your ass is nice. Don’t pressure them into doing this, either – you (most likely/hopefully) knew when you got involved that this would have to be a secret (and, let’s be real, the scandal of it all was probably a bit enticing).

5. Trust will be difficult.

Sleeping with a student requires a LOT of trust, and if you break that, they are bound to either be fired or stop your ~situation~ entirely. You’ll need to be mature and understand if things end, if things need to cool down for a bit, even if they answers questions about having a partner simply to throw off anybody who suspects that you know what their bedroom looks like (though this can be a red flag – make sure they don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend, because that’s bad all around!). It’s fun to be with somebody, but you can’t really enjoy a relationship of any kind without some semblance of trust.

It doesn’t sound so glamorous when put this way, but sleeping with a professor does have its perks – you can genuinely find somebody you get along with and enjoy spending time with outside of the classroom, even if it doesn’t end in a romance. And sitting in a classroom, watching other students flirt with them, can be pretty entertaining – because you know that they’ll be texting you later that night instead. And how much of an ego boost is that? TC mark