Dating In College Vs. Dating As A Post-Grad
On how you meet
College You: He’s in one of my classes and I’ve always had a crush on him. One night, we ran into each other at a mutual friend’s house party and just started making out. It was really organic and afterwards we realized that we actually have tons of friends in common. It’s really easy to blend our two groups!
Post-Grad You: I met him online or a friend set us up on a blind date. We have two mutual friends on Facebook. I don’t know. He, like, went to Tulane for his undergrad and is from Michigan. He might be a serial killer but that’s the risk you take dating after college. Boys don’t come with references.
On defining the relationship
College You: He’s my college boyfriend. He’s definitely the boyfriend I’m having in college, if not forever. It’s on Facebook and everything. We hooked up for like two months before making it official. I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND, Y’ALL!
Post-Grad You: So this is weird. I’ve been hooking up with this guy on the regular for like six months but we have no title. I feel like we’ll be getting one soon? You can only do this vague stuff for so long, right? There’s going to come a point when you have to either shit or get off the pot. The thing is though that I’m not even sure if I want to be in a relationship with this dude. What we have going is sweet and easy. We have such a good time together but, I don’t know, labels are scary. And if we do actually decide to date for real, I am NOT putting it on Facebook. If anything, I’ll just remove the “Single.”
College You: We have our own apartments obvi but ALL my stuff is at his place. I’m never home anymore. I basically live at his house and I love it!!! (My roommates hate me for not being around though.)
Post-Grad You: I guess we’ll live together eventually. It would be cheaper. We’d both save a ton of money actually but, like, if we move in together, that’s so final. Like, we’re basically saying that the next step is marriage. You can’t take a step back from that. You can’t just live together for a year and all of a sudden be like, “JK! I still love you but let’s go back to living separately!” I’m in no rush to move in together, to be honest. I can’t even poop at my boyfriend’s house, so I would be screwed if we lived together.
The biggest issue in the relationship
College You: He doesn’t text me back ASAP and sometimes he passes out drunk before we can have sex. Oh, and his friends are dumb.
Post-Grad You: We have very different career paths and he’s had trouble supporting himself financially. Money is a “thing” in relationships now and it sucks. In college, you’d be like, “Oh, you can only afford a 3$ falafel for dinner? Sweet. Me too. Let’s stay in!” but now it’s like, “You have no money AGAIN? When will you ever have money? I don’t want to be supporting you for forever. You have to pull your own weight! How can I have babies with someone who can’t afford a 10 dollar hamburger?”
On online dating
College You: Are you kidding me? I’m not 27.
Post Grad You: Damn, I’m turning 27…
A | A | A
If you’ve been looking for a chance to say something then this very well could be it.
I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”