How To Have The Best Summer Ever
Be outside as much as possible. During the summer months, you should avoid the indoors. They’re the enemy. They’re the thing that’s going to make you insta-depressed. If you work in an office, take your lunch break outside in the park. Or take a bulldozer to your building so you can have a million dollar view!
Listen to Top 40 Songs exclusively. Burn your Animal Grizzly Bear Collective crap and turn up Justin Timberlake. Turn it up loud! There’s no shame in the top 40 game. Summer is a light, frilly season. Just like a pop song. There’s no room for moody indie music. (This is coming from someone who ONLY listens to moody indie music.)
If you’re single, make out with as many people as possible. Make out with them at rooftop barbecues, on stoops, in parks, in a pool. Basically anywhere that’s outside. Avoid indoors because that could lead to sex and sex in the summertime is something I’m #NotClearOn. I mean, sure it can be amazing but it can also be sweaty and awkward and…slimy. Summertime sex is not for the faint of heart. I suggest only doing it with people you want to be long-term with.
Be a social butterfly. Go to every rooftop party you get invited to. Parties get 44% better if they’re on a rooftop and it’s warm out. That’s pretty much a fact. I could get invited to a party full of Mormon’s in Fresno and if the space was nice and it was warm enough, I could still get down and have a good time.
Drink margaritas, sangria, white wine spritzers (just like Drake!), and any cocktail that has watermelon in it. Avoid whiskey. Drink these summertime delights on a patio somewhere with the sun shining bright down on you. Be with your friends for five hours, drinking and laughing, losing track of time. Even if you’re too old to have a proper summer break, you can still make the summer into your own three month mini-vacay. Summer is a magical season with healing powers. You could be working ten hours a day but the second you leave, the weather and mood zaps you back to life. Everything feels more vibrant and alive. Oh god, I’m getting goosebumps just blogging about it.
Eat healthy. This isn’t something you even have to consciously work on. The warm weather makes you naturally crave salads, fruits, and vegetables. Comfort food sounds…uncomfortable. There’s nothing worse than walking around with a food baby in 90-degree weather. You’re barely clothed and you feel your tummy start to poke out of your tank top. Ugh.
Smell like sunscreen all the time. Get one gnarly sunburn. Spend an afternoon walking 90 blocks all by yourself with your headphones blasting. Embrace summer like you would with a lover. Call summer back, give it amazing head. Ride it till it breaks.
Have at least one night when you don’t go to bed till 6am. Watch the sun rise from a rooftop in your shorts and tank top, wasted on drinks or just the summer itself. Never get bored. If you’re bored in the summer, you’re doing something wrong. Most importantly, be sublimely happy. You owe it to yourself and the season. You have all the other times to be sad. Just don’t indulge in it when its 80 degrees out and there’s so much going on that could make you happy. Depression is reserved for winter, okay?
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It’s the end of the year so you know what that means: it’s time for end-of-the-year album “Best Ofs”!
Your love. Your passion. Your taste. That’s the reason you’re here. You still belong, even if you don’t feel like it right now. Your taste can be killer even if your ability is questionable.
There are a multitude of misconceptions about the service industry and I feel it is my duty to set a few of them straight.
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