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Writing

nothing about us was meant to last
we were illegal firecrackers
and $5 sunglasses
purchased at tiny corner stores
impermanence stuck like pieces of corn in our teeth
we were always going to fall out

When you give away your clothes sometimes it can just be that, but most of the time it’s giving away a part of yourself. You’re saying: “Here is this nostalgia. And I don’t want it anymore.”

But when someone is worth it, I’ll throw on a life-jacket and dive into icy waters. When someone is funny and kind and reminds me life is fragile and unpredictable, I want to take the risk. I want to go all in.

I haven’t heard his voice in too long but even thinking about his smile makes me want to throw up. His name came up when co-workers and I were brainstorming ideas for a project and I pictured having to face him and I just froze. I couldn’t breathe.