What happens when you leave a Wal Mart ice cream sandwich outside in the sun for an hour? Nothing, apparently.
Do the Wal-Mart chant before a shift of work at Wal-Mart
This would raise the wages of 16.5 million people just like you.
“I laugh until my head comes off. I swallow until I burst.”
Clearly I don’t belong here.
“Trick or treat! How come you never call anymore?!”
10. See an $8 pair of sweatpants. Buy an $8 pair of sweatpants.
He or she gets a phone call from a friend and they proceed to have a conversation about someone’s cat or the date one of them just went on or what he or she got shopping that day while you sit there and mock interest in some old text messages on your cell phone.
Someone directed me to the Wikipedia entry for “stampede” the other day. I read crazy things there—stampedes that caused the suffocation of over 4,000 people, weird instances of mass hysteria, a link between consumerism and human herd-like behavior. This article explains and catalogs, to a somewhat limited extent, human stampeding and mass hysteria. Overall, the phenomena mostly seem bleak, as these behaviors allow us to witness, generally, people losing control of their minds.
The man ends with a rhetorical question, “So ladies, should your man smell like an old spice man?” while, bearing his ultimate manifestation, is straddling a motor cycle and holding the product in hand. If you listen closely, you’ll hear the engine running, implication being that after the fade out he’ll ride to some woman’s house and make Old Spice redolent love — though that would never happen.