Thought Catalog

Vogue

The joke is as benign as the periodic announcement I make that I am straight for Steve Buscemi. It does no violence to gay people that Jeffrey Eugenides made a clumsily delivered tongue and cheek aside that sort of implies we would be straight if the opposite sex was hotter.

You’re ignoring the Murphy’s Law of Hair which comes into play whenever you have a significant event — wedding, high school graduation, first date — that requires good hair. The law states, and I quote, “Verily on dates of import, whatever you want your hair to do, it will do the opposite.”