Tired of buying vibrators, only to make sad effort to hide them at the first sound of a doorbell? Trust us, you’re not the only one.
We remain undaunted, on an eternal quest to keep our physical lives just as thrilling as they were back in the days of frat parties and keggers. So how do two middle-aged parents in the suburbs keep the bedroom steamy?
You know how like, every week on the Internet some curvy person writes a defense of being curvy and then some slender girl writes about how that defense of being curvy was really just an excuse to slam skinnies and…
6. Avoid moving in with Craigslist people just because they’re cute.
My mom was undeniably a sexual being. Not only that, she was an owner of THE RABBIT.
8. Why do all porn sites assume I’m a guy??
1. The Penis Microphone
GF uses my erect penis as a microphone and sings songs.
I might as well have laminated tiny fake passports and come up with different phony occupations because my vibrator was basically in the witness protection program.
Canadians, I’m not going to pretend I understand what kind of frigid, weird things you guys are into. I assume frost-addled sex parts have to do desperate things to thaw out.
Our girlfriend is wearing a most dramatic black dress that’s cut well above the knee and glistens even in the velvet glow of the club. She looks so hot. She’s dancing to music she hates, but you’d never know it. Someone tells her she looks like Mila Kunis. You look like a gutless teacher’s assistant on his night out.