1. Wait—you’re in the Army? Are you a lesbian?
I hope I recognize this guy, seems to be a recurring problem of mine. Hope I haven’t been betrayed by beer goggles again. I guess this issue would resolve itself if I quit drunkenly accepting dates but like, no one asks me out otherwise.
There were totally mysterious, unspoken rules about how best to wear your regulation plaid skirt, opaque tights, polo shirt and sweater that were set by the popular girls and that everyone else tried their best to follow. I had no idea how they knew, but some girls showed up on the first day of sixth grade looking perfect in a way that took me years to identify.