A mysterious Facebook status update insinuating I’m doing something really cool or trendy, posted on a Saturday night when I’m home alone and nobody has texted me to make plans.
What initially began as a plan for me to find inner peace and escape from the chaos my life soon became the reason I could finally get work done.
I’d rather be in a human centipede than a group text.
You swiped past me while you looked away from your phone to flush the toilet.
Imagine guys posting “My #MCM this week is my bro Allen. Your chiseled jaw is so masculine and handsome. SLAY, my dude!!!”
Social media isn’t about connecting with friends; it’s about self-validation, self-promotion, and enhancing your appearance while turning you ugly on the inside.
You all know exactly what I’m talking about: the endless rants about how great our boyfriends/girlfriends are followed by a hate post, family drama, or just a miscellaneous post defending ones’ values. As if we have to defend ourselves at all.
This is guaranteed to brighten your day.
You’re not just another pretty one, no, but that headshot speaks volumes in the language of the tweeterie.
So on behalf of humanity, thank you Jesse.