You know that horrible cliche in movies when a blind person asks a seeing person to describe the sunset? This is how I feel asking my day job friends about Fridays.
Sending fan mail to people who are only marginally more successful than you are and who will never, ever have respect for you, after this.
This bikini believes life is fruitless and free will is illogical.
This morning, for about an hour, Twitter was “so down” even the Fail Whale was missing. When a website is still able to present their specially designed “down” page, you know it’s still sort of working.
Apparently pulled over between a championship lacrosse match and the taping for a cooking show about Jungle Juice, Charming Bro displays the finest in athletic haircut, glassy-eyed stare, and smile that says “My dad’s lawyer wins cases like these for breakfast.”
Transform into a bat and flap away into the night.
There is “coming out” and there is “I love this man.”
If you interact in any way on Tumblr, you obviously need to have sex. But then again everyone on Tumblr just needs to have sex with each other. Just a massive internet orgy of political correctness and hipbones and love.
Nothing’s grosser than someone begging people on Twitter to follow them. “Wow! 973 followers! 27 more to go till I hit 1k! Special prize for my 1000th follower! :)” Then, when they finally do reach a thousand followers, they act as if they just won an Oscar.
In customary self-indulgent Tumblr fashion, the two bloggers’ bios were overflowing with adjectives and descriptions (“FAAB,” “objectum sexual,” “transabled” “demiplatonic,” “aromantic,” etc. — you get the picture), all put there to give the reader an idea of their fascinating “otherness.”