Not even three full scrolls into my journey, I was visually assaulted by a 500×500 GIF of anal sex.
My initial excitement decayed into something closer resembling anxiety or shame. I sat at my computer and shook my head quietly.
3. Text message interpreter.
On breakup day 2 I wrote a tumblr post that is the emotional equivalent to a cup of my tears. 150 days later I reviewed and commented.
Snapchatting pictures of themselves getting blowjobs to their bros.
Don’t be a person with emotional needs or wants and complex feelings.
I don’t have a blog because I want to look back at it and feel a smug sense of superiority.
…We’re all suffering. Just ask the Internet.
JERRY: You’re going to shut down some poor girl’s Tumblr? GEORGE: IT’S ALL I GOT, JERRY! ALL I GOT.
Don’t talk out loud. If you do, make sure it is only to a cat or stuffed animals or something else that can not talk back.