I dated sporadically and unsuccessfully in college, fluctuating between a lot of tears and frustration and not being able to understand why I was so unlovable and gleefully listening to other people b-tch about their relationships while I wore full-on acne masks to bed in a comforter covered in Cheez-it dust.
Two guys from a TV show who talked once and so now someone has taken that encounter, added a Photoshop filter and some Demi Lovato lyrics and it’s SUPER romantic.
Anyway, Mommy started reblogging some of Daddy’s Tumblr posts, mostly GIFs of Jane Lynch screaming. After three weeks of that, Daddy started following Mommy on Twitter.
At that point in my life, I’d never seen an episode of Doctor Who. But I was active on the internet. I’d seen .gifs and stills on Tumblr and boy, his long, distinguished face is unmistakable.
You know that horrible cliche in movies when a blind person asks a seeing person to describe the sunset? This is how I feel asking my day job friends about Fridays.
Sending fan mail to people who are only marginally more successful than you are and who will never, ever have respect for you, after this.
This bikini believes life is fruitless and free will is illogical.
This morning, for about an hour, Twitter was “so down” even the Fail Whale was missing. When a website is still able to present their specially designed “down” page, you know it’s still sort of working.
Apparently pulled over between a championship lacrosse match and the taping for a cooking show about Jungle Juice, Charming Bro displays the finest in athletic haircut, glassy-eyed stare, and smile that says “My dad’s lawyer wins cases like these for breakfast.”
Transform into a bat and flap away into the night.