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Unfollow them on Twitter. Unfollowing loosely translates to “I hate your brain and the thoughts that come out of it. Seeing your tweets makes my insides die a little bit more each day. See you at the next party though!”

I dated sporadically and unsuccessfully in college, fluctuating between a lot of tears and frustration and not being able to understand why I was so unlovable and gleefully listening to other people b-tch about their relationships while I wore full-on acne masks to bed in a comforter covered in Cheez-it dust.

Two guys from a TV show who talked once and so now someone has taken that encounter, added a Photoshop filter and some Demi Lovato lyrics and it’s SUPER romantic.

Anyway, Mommy started reblogging some of Daddy’s Tumblr posts, mostly GIFs of Jane Lynch screaming. After three weeks of that, Daddy started following Mommy on Twitter.

You know that horrible cliche in movies when a blind person asks a seeing person to describe the sunset? This is how I feel asking my day job friends about Fridays.

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