Breakfast consists of grabbing multiple handfuls of Cap’n Crunch Berries while you do your first scroll through Reddit. Memes are your true sustenance. You refrain from properly hydrating because it makes you think rationally.
“We know that people are complicated and have a mixture of flaws and talents and sins. So why do we pretend that we don’t?” — Jon Ronson
But why don’t I take this stuff personally? Why doesn’t it affect me? Why doesn’t it stop me from writing?
Relax. Take it easy. Turn off your caps lock.
Please if you don’t do anything else but this, realize that you don’t know me. You have no idea who I am or anything about my life. Reading one article does not mean you know me.
“I always want to give them a taste of their own medicine.”
“The Internet doesn’t just offer opportunities for misogynistic abuse, you know. Penis enlargers can also be bought discreetly.”
These are just way too funny.
I approached five of my writer friends and colleagues with ten of the comments we all get every day and presented them with the unique opportunity to say whatever they wanted in response: no real names, no consequences, no filters allowed. Hilarity ensued.
I am an ugly whore. Or at least that’s the sentiment of the faceless and nameless users who chose to comment on this article believe. “Ugly” is subjective and at best, boring. Why not hideous? Repulsive?