I nearly choked on my turkey when Bunny told Grandma Ethel, in talking about her “mood” ring, that she was in a car with a guy the other night and the mood ring said she was “horny.”
I rush to the local drugstore and head straight to the pharmacist. She says, “Happy Thanksgiving!” And I smile. Awkwardly.
9. Don’t buy silverware; take it from the dining hall.
4. Intense patriotism—flags everywhere.
Hint: Don’t ever, ever try it.
People get really into preparing holiday meals— in the same way, people become almost disturbingly enthused about holiday sex.
“Well…do you like boys?”
“Dress like you deserve respect, not a spot at the bar.”
For people who encourage you to try, and want you to succeed.
Oh God Target is out of popcorn how will I keep my energy levels high?