After two and a half years of being an art-school student, I have concluded that being an art student (and working 25 hours a week) is the most exhausting and expensive thing to be.
Tony Robbins has a new book out today. For the first time in 25 years I think.
Before I even stepped into Target on Saturday to buy some basic necessities (paper towels, clearance Halloween candy, another black floppy hat) I could feel it in my bones that something was different.
Throughout my extensive marriage of five months, here are somewhat depressing-sounding, but thoroughly helpful tips I have found that keep my marriage sane, healthy, and satisfied.
I don’t know if I’m ready to be the boyfriend of a girl who had an abortion.
The first is obvious in that you should never venture to the superstore wearing khakis and a red polo—the Target uniform—unless you’re prepared to answer questions from shoppers about where to find moisturizer or Archer Farms cereal.
Target fixes all.
Somewhere along the line it spread through the stay-at-home-mom circle that Target is the best place to bring your screaming child on a Friday morning, because they are everywhere.
Dresses, makeup, gifts, traveling, parties, showers. Everyone is getting married. Everyone ever. I can barely cope with the fact that I’m the lone wolf at every wedding, let alone that you registered for a $279 juicer. Totes happy for you though.
He says, “You eat popcorn while walking around Target. That’s awkward.”