“I can’t live with what I did to that little girl. You can find most of her body buried in the garden.”
Most importantly, it is unacceptable to think you don’t matter. Of course, you do. I know you matter because I’m learning that I matter too.
I’m sure you’ve thought about how you’ll do it. Maybe you’ve come up with a plan already.
The man was cold, so cold, as if death began to run its frozen hands affectionately across his skin calling him home.
“I am afraid to talk to women and have severe trust issues. I thought of suicide several times since it happened. Luckily I have a good support structure in my life. I know I should get help but I have fears of talking about what happened to other people. Mostly, the accusation broke me.”
I know how it feels to have the black cloud consume you to the point where you feel there’s no way out. But instead, I was miraculously saved, something I wish could have happened to this person. He deserved to live, he deserved another chance.
There’ve been countless nights when I’ve hid away behind claims of sickness to cry, alone. There’ve been nights when I’ve clasped my hands to my chest, holding the razor blade like it was my scepter, begging God to take me once and for all.
Too lazy to kill myself, I thought. There’s something you don’t see on brochures.
Let yourself feel the pain, and feel it deeply – but don’t let it control you. Accept the fear, the frustrations – but don’t let them force you to do anything your soul would reject. Don’t hurt yourself.
We all have experiences we struggle to put into words. Whether that be heartbreak, loss, mourning, or internal battles, it’s a common theme among all of us as humans.