Let yourself feel the pain, and feel it deeply – but don’t let it control you. Accept the fear, the frustrations – but don’t let them force you to do anything your soul would reject. Don’t hurt yourself.
We all have experiences we struggle to put into words. Whether that be heartbreak, loss, mourning, or internal battles, it’s a common theme among all of us as humans.
When the time comes that you can no longer take it. When you feel your common sense slipping through your fingers… Lower the gun, untie the noose, close the pill bottle, throw away the vices, hide the blade and go talk to me.
Maybe, I’ll always wonder.
Hell isn’t fire. It’s water. And the devil isn’t a grown man. It’s a little girl. Wide eyed and pink lipped and petite.
When I woke up in the hospital, one of my first thoughts was “Damn. It didn’t work.” Then, after seeing, hugging and crying with my friends and family members, a new thought began to take hold. Each day, it grew a little stronger. And, as it grew stronger, I began to listen to it more. This new, fledgling thought was simple – “I want to live.”
That last of the wine still processing, I got up to relieve myself, but stopped as soon as I stood up next to the bed. Something was off about the room. A childish sense of fear had started to seep into my sobering mind.
Someone was in our apartment.
No matter how much society has claimed to be enlightened, people still don’t understand what it is to be depressed, suicidal, anxious, or mentally ill.
Telling people what happened is just as difficult for me now as it was 11 years ago.
It’s funny how some band, an assortment of people that you’ve never even met before, can put the emotions you’ve been feeling into words that you couldn’t have formed yourself. They don’t know you or the situation you’re going through, and yet, they found a way to explain it perfectly.