Now, the Marvel film franchise, how is it different?
1. Don’t mess around with his web-shooters
Remember sleep? That was a good thing you used to do.
These techniques are very professional, so it may take some time to master them.
Call J. Jonah Jameson! We’ve got a clear pic of Spiderman with the PRESIDENT for the front page of the Daily Bugle.
“Hey, this baggy bed sheet isn’t doing anything for my figure. Screw being a ghost! Why don’t I just put on a bikini top and a little skirt and say that I’m, I don’t know, a princess or something?! Or…wait. I know what I can do. I can say that I’m a cat. A cat with boobs!”
A realistic Hulk story would involve Dr. Banner suing his employer for medical costs and then living off of the workman’s comp, drinking at local bars, and goading cocky townies into fights.
I love you the way bros love ironically singing “Call Me Maybe” and secretly enjoying it more than they would ever let on. I love you the way bar owners love how much patrons do shots to encourage each other during karaoke night.
Kiss them like it’s going to be hung on someone’s wall someday, as a reminder of what love can be like.
Spider Jerusalem, a drug-addled gonzo journalist of the future is forced out of seclusion by his publishers. Armed only with his laptop, a pair of camera-glasses and a ray-gun called “the bowel disruptor” (which does pretty much what it sounds like) Jerusalem proceeds to rampage all over the dystopian city of the future, culminating in a battle of words with two corrupt presidents…