Social Networking

I know what’s going on in the world, or at least sort of. I know the headlines and the facts, the shootings and the first-place finishes. I know other people who live online: A friend in Pakistan who I’ve only met in chat windows; the guy who writes funny things about the Olympics for Bleacher Report.

There is going to come a moment when you look around and realize that you have received a request from an ultrasound with its own Facebook, and it is at this moment that you will lose all faith in your generation.

There is one element that all of my failed relationships share. Through all the many variations of womanhood that I have been familiar with, but a single thread carries through all of these dalliances. They involved a heavy amount of physical intimacy.